Out of body, out of touch
If I feel at all, then I feel too much
This poem is as shallow as my grave

But I'm still digging

If I want a God then I'll misbehave
If I want to be sad then I'll entertain
Just because I'm found
doesn't mean I'm around
Just because I'm growing up
Doesn't mean I can't be down

I'm sorry, mom and dad,
but if I want to be happy then I'll have to be sad
I'll write until my fingers bleed
Until my words are the blood that the readers need

There was an army of ants in the plastic plants
So I poured light through a magnifying glass
And I created a fire on the artificial grass

They scurried and hurried
with flames on their backs
Like soldiers on a hopeless plain,
searching for invisible barracks

And I sighed as they died,
because we are all the same:
Scurrying and hurrying from invisible pain

i do not believe in soul mates
however souls, i put all my faith in
i do not believe in love at first sight
which is convenient considering i cannot manage to remember when i first saw you.
i do not believe in true love
however there are many loves that are true
i do not believe in perfection
however i love every inch of you
even the parts that i hate
even the parts i do not believe in
i do not want to be naive
i do not want to be cracked open
i do not want to be known
yet i'd say anything, do anything
im as impulsive as the storms that rage outside my window
i think of you
i think of doubts
i do my best not to think
if you were here then i couldn't

thoughts cram themselves once more tonight
of all failures and doubts
pain and tears
scars
some are mine some are others
but my soul feels them all the same
in my head, my hope has been dead
but i've learned to revive myself
i wish i held the power to heal all of their wounds
but i do not believe in wishes
however i do believe in change
and dreams
dreams are lovely
lovely partners to nightmares
life is a lovely partner to death
which i do not believe in either