... I really hate that I fell in love with you...

I should hate you
I should want to burn every single picture of us
into flames and laugh about it
I should be able to listen to a love song
and not think of you
but I can't

I should be able to be with another boy
and kiss him and hold his hand
and not think of you anymore
and how we used to hold hands
without either of us realizing it
and it just happening

but the truth is
I can't hate you
because no matter what I do or where I go
or what I listen to
you're the one that has my heart
and even though you broke it
I still love you with all the pieces

Being a woman is hard.
Actually,
Being a woman
You expect me to be
Is hard.
Being who I am,
Well now,
That's really easy.

So society tells me
I should be thin
Maybe look like 'em supermodels
I guess since
That's not happening
I'll go drown my "sorrows"
In a box of ice cream.

Be beautiful
By putting all that mush on my face?
Sorry, no thank you
I'll pass.
I'll be me with all my spots, marks
Freckles and all.

Because you see,
What I am,
Well the genes,
Were handed to me,
By the two most beautiful people
In the world,
Yes, freckles and all.

I am independent
I am smart
I dont need to look like a clown
To please your senses.
I'm much more than
What's on the surface.
So if you wanna like me
Its a package deal,
Freckles and all.

Don't try and save me.
Thousands have tried and failed,
watched disappointingly,
each time I've derailed.
Don't set of shore and raise the sails.
Im drowning,
Sinking in a sea of what could have and what should have been
There is no life boat strong enough to take back the things I've seen
withhold my weighty heart.
my soul is anchored in the the darkest parts,
The murkiest waters.
It is held down in the depths
of despair
Save your own sons and daughters.
Im a wasted rescue mission.
Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.

he asked what I wanted to do. I said
write poetry
or
die.
he said
they were the same.

I'll be waiting,
     for the day we become one
I'll be waiting,
     'till the day you return
I'll be waiting,
     with my heart still open for you
No matter how long,
      i'll be waiting for You