Conversing with Death herself humbled me
Scene:
There’s a tranquil garden in my dreams
An endless array of beauty
Something like a rainbow in the distance
But not quite, there are a few colors missing
Maybe that’s just my eyes

You never notice the beauty within the fingertips of a loved one
Like a scene from a Wes Anderson film
Beautiful in every context created by the human emotion

Mother I’m going to be alright
“You’re dying”
Mother I’m going to be alright

A bed of amaryllis petals lay the ground to which I sleep
But Death
She seemed to say something like a whisper
“Not today, child”
Mother I’m going to be alright

And passing suns illuminate my fingertips
The veins of my body blue like the vast sea
A never-ending scene of ethereal elegance
And a steady heartbeat
Mother I’m going to be alright

It was exactly a year ago today when the quantum theory became clear
You and I, eons away, yet still interconnected by something
Something inexplicably powerful it felt as if we were born from the same star
It was tonight when I started to fall asleep on skype while you edited your music
Crackling on synthetic piano voices singing melancholy dreams
But it was now when you spoke words of love
The only time I felt true, pure euphoria
And if I thought back then, if I really believed you
Maybe things would be different

Your voice slowly dissipated from my memory, as did your face
Nothing more than a stranger passing by with a red string attached to our fingers
Empty promises long forgotten
Or cared for, if you rather

I know you told me to wait
But for what am I waiting?
For what am I pondering during sleepless nights
How to forgive the abrupt abandonment?
Back a year ago tonight
If I would have believed you when you said you loved me
Maybe moving back home wouldn’t feel like isolation, rather a new beginning

But for now, if by chance
We execute a correspondence on the streets of Amsterdam
Memories will seem as murky as the weather
Cold, harsh
Maybe even unrecognizable

Small waves break upon my feet, a kiss from the shore
And even though we're roughly 1122 miles away from each other
Unable to speak consistently
You are still in everything that I see
From the small kiss of the shore to the soft breeze that messes my hair
You are in every laughter spilt from my mouth
and as I look at the stars one last time tonight I can point out the exact location of Mars
In some odd way you are in the light it shines
Ever protruding in the darkness
Ever present whether near or far
Our love lasting a thousand lifetimes
Although we are thousands of miles from each others warm embrace
I still feel you in my heart
and wherever your heart lies
or wherever some reminder of you is present
That is my home, my home is you