Wilted then reborn
A single drop is enough
To reignite me

My fingers sting from playing a six string.
Neglected piano keys notwithstanding.
Small pain for the sake of understanding something.
Learning starts with touch.
It'll hurt worse before I'm done.
First the basics, then the fun.
I'll climb this rocky learning curve;
playing cacophonies for no one.

I can't believe, I'm finally here..
The place I always dreamed of,
And one day knew I would be.
The beauty of Seattle is all I see.

This place is now my home,
The city if Seattle,
Welcomes me into its arms.
Where I am free to roam.

When the city darkens,
And the sky begins to cry.
I admire the beauty of it all,
Watching as the rain falls.

It was my dream,
To move to Seattle.
And now my dream has come true.
There's no other person,
I'd rather share it with,
Than you..

I don't miss you, but I wonder about you and wish it was acceptable to.
My brain still can't understand how something so good yet short lived could end in all of this pain.
You used me? I guess that's it.
But no- you're better than that.
See, there I go wanting to give you more credit and myself more blame.
It must have been the light blue color in your eyes, unlike anything I could ever dream of, working along side your mischievous grin that fooled me.
Perhaps it was the way you knew how to make me laugh and long to kiss you since the minute we met.
Things weren't so gray and I wish I wouldn't have shooed you away.
Before you ran, you warned me about your morbid sense of humor and advised me to get used to it.
There was no point of me warming up to your dark humor though, I became the joke that stole the show.
How was I supposed to know that the soul behind those glassy, freakin beautiful baby blues of yours had grown so terribly icy and was destined to leave me feeling blue?

Life is screaming out at you to end your life.
But don’t do it.
Be that rebel and rebel and live.
Life ***** you away when you are down.
Destroy your feelings.
Don’t let them take your feelings from you.
Be yourself and do whatever you want.
Destroy others by not acknowledging them.

You have officially left the Midwest.
You've always been toxic to me.
Even now that you're gone, your poison drips off my lips.
I swore I blocked you out for good months before you left-yeah ******* right.
My scars from never being enough for you had just started to heal.
Then, one day I got curious and wondered if you would even respond.
Another chance to mess with me? OF COURSE you answered.
2 months and you'd be outta here was what I came to learn, you had nothing to lose.
**** it, what was I thinking?
******* for everything oh and ******* even more for everything that you know you should be sorry for but choose to ignore.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not...
You are still bitter towards that girl who ****** with your head and only said she loved you,you'll never let that go.
I have come to accept you will always cling on to her or at least the idea of her and allow nobody else to be better, um good luck with that.
I hope one day I find everything I deserve in a place thousands of miles from you.
Out of the Midwest is where you belong and I will not give her your best.
~CMD

i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember when we talked about going to seattle?
you said you liked the rain
and the fact that no one there would know you,
i just wanted to be wherever you were.
i was never afraid of the dark
when you talked about yours.
i still don't have words for what i felt
when you told me the only other number
you had saved in your phone apart from your mother's was mine.
i keep telling myself you're not allowed
to just exit and re-enter my life as you please,
but i leave the door unlocked,
so what does that make me?
the last "i love you" from the last time we spoke,
is still stuck to the roof of my mouth.
other lovers have tried to pry it out of me,
but the memory of you is like lockjaw.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember the lizard you caught last summer?
you let me name him forrest.
if life is a box of chocolates,
there are pieces missing,
and whatever is left has gone stale.
i can't smoke cigarettes in my backyard anymore
without wondering where you are
or if you're smoking too.
i hope you're not drinking,
i know you hate what it does to you.
your secrets are still tucked between my ribs,
i will hold them safe and repeat them back to you
if you ever lose your way home.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember when you told me
about the person you were afraid of becoming,
i said i wasn't scared,
and i told you i was proud of you?
i'm still proud of you.
i hope you're in school or at least keeping busy.
i hope you still make yourself laugh.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember what movie we were watching
the night you got arrested?
i still can't finish it.
i am holding the place.
can we pick up where we left off?
can we stand up and wipe the dust off?
i never got to tell you why i only write in pen,
or why i can't sleep with socks on,
or about the day i caught god with his hands in a public fountain
fishing for change.
i'm not mad at you for disappearing, but i'm lonely.
the only reason i haven't called
is because i'm afraid of being sent straight to voicemail,
but if i ever find myself in indiana again,
you'll be the first to know.

- m.f.