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 Dec 2015 Emily Williams
ordained
i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place:
part of me wants to be dead
part of me wants to be with you
maybe we should die together, romeo and juliet as ever
i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place:
part of me wants to be bad,
to hear hell calling my name in the wind rustling my hair
part of me wants to be good,
to hear god welcoming me through the gates when you sing
i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place:
part of me wants to be selfish and take care of myself
love myself
respect myself
part of me wants to send my friends to heaven and support them
**** for them
help them
i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place:
heaven or hell
house or home
hated or hateful
so i consult my oracle, my trembling hands and cold lips,
and i come to a conclusion:
me: never does work, just draws on my knee and writes poetry
I  speak your name
I touch you
from the cold you emerge
have I known you?
has it come to the point
where hearts must bleed
before they sing?
I can not believe
that I have loved you
for so long
and yet not see
what went wrong along the way
that the door between us
just snapped shut

have you suffered
cruelties that I
did not forsee?
and with a heavy load
that wanted to unburden itself
I cried....
long ago and far away
I seem to recall
you cradled me in your arms
the feeling stuck
to always haunt my mind
I ache with longing
for your touch
when was it born
this bitterness in our hearts?
why have we nursed it deep within
only to find shadows
climbing on our backs
clawing their way into the
very essence of our togetherness
somehow I believe
you must have loved me too
but that is gone now
and everything is through.....
Like emerging from a canvas he rose,

Taking away my breaths and sanity


Like dusty scent, through lanes now he blows

While I take in his scent and keep him captivated.


The shadows of death lingered in his mind.

And I tried but I couldn't chase them away


And I saw our failing love,

Our fading red.


Our souls used to collide within our shells,

It was hollow inside us, we were just two empty wells.


Our depths couldn't be seen through eyes,

We were so deep, we defined infinite


I saw our falling love,

Our fading red


One day, he screamed, wrapped in agony

And I howled while vacancy shook me.


His breaths were taken away

And mine were not but empty again, we lay


Although we belonged together

Still we were torn apart


This was the last time I saw our dying love

Our...faded...red
-MAY
 Dec 2015 Emily Williams
s
Last
 Dec 2015 Emily Williams
s
he sang me
sweet kisses to sleep,
left my heart
floating forever
he did not tell me,
did not inform me,
that was the last song,
the last time
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