the gauntlet is thrown down, eyes focused on the field
the weight of expectation hangs,
my mind begins to reel
Your hesitation is palpable
Muscles tensed, nerves singing, hands shaking
will you take the chance and fight,
rage against the dark above,
the one that lays on your mind,
extinguishing the light?
your decision, our future, all intertwined
and all I can do is sit and wait and slowly lose my mind

I sat down one day, thinking of writing you a haiku
I wondered aloud what words to write,
Words that could describe how I feel about you
Not common words, but words that have a bite.
An array of words to choose from, but what to pick?

My thoughts are all scrambled, in need of sorting
I wish to show you this wasn't all a trick,
That I didn't want to leave you hurting.
Our time together was always ticking
The i s are dotted and the t s crossed
I'd hate for you to think I'm quitting
But it's time to think of the cost.
We must go our separate ways now
Fresh and new beneath the sky
We've done our best and must take a bow
This is our last goodbye.

My experience doesn’t matter,
it’s cookie cutter, the typical growing-up story.
Fending off boys and snapping bra straps,
Pushing off voices pressing in,
a pair of earmuffs I can’t peel away.
My eyes know to dart around,
To look behind that bush, find the most direct, most lit path
The casual-not-so-accidental grab at parties,
too strong arms reaching for a hug that I can’t break out of,
crushing me in, sweat and too much cologne muffling my breaths
and then, thankfully they come, my friends swoop in,
fierce warriors, my sworn protectors.
I find safety in their arms.
We are bonded by shared experience,
multiplying daily in number.
Stand up, brush off your jeans, and put your hands to work,
find your voice.
I am not unique in my experience.
Those strong arms dripping sweat and cologne will reach for someone else,
a lesson must be learned and we will teach them
Put our voices proud, project them to the sky,
let them fall as comets, spreading fire,
and bringing us warmth and light

What is wrong with you?
Hold this little book close,
the best of friends
and you’ll know why I’ll reach
         the breaking point

The resilience of yellow,
Yellow, which is so often brushed off
“eggy” they say or “oh god, not lemon”
it’s more than that.
The folds of the petal,
velvety, resilient to the world it faces.
Uprooted it may be,
but tall and proud it stands.
The arms are outstretched, perfume given away freely.
Beautiful, fragile, captivating.

The setting sun reaches out to me,
earnestly stretching to cup my face.
I shrink back from its warmth, cold as I am.
The sun is beautiful, warm, comforting.
And yet, it is too far away; the comfort is an illusion.
The cold seeps in me, weighing on my bones and making me slow.
I long for that warmth, my face turns almost automatically to the sun,
wishing it closer, warmer, stronger, anything.
The cold is spreading through, settling in my heart,
claiming my body, my mind.
And here I am again, stuck, cold, tired.

I just want to go outside
The stretch between classes is just enough of a tease
wind blowing, leaves flying, the sun warming my face
And then walls.
Walls closing in, walls enclosing knowledge, some walls that are just walls
My seat can’t be by the windows, too many distractions.
Twitchy feet and a wandering mind
What am I to do?
Day after day, my routine is stuck
food, class, lift until I collapse, food again, and then turning,
Facing that monstrous pile of work breaking my desk
The sun shines, the leaves play
I can do work outside
lies and compromise
Chained to the desk as time ticks by
I just want to go outside