I'm not expecting
anything, anything from you
no hearts or heavy breathing
no rage or anger seething
I'm only keeping
keeping track of
the pleasant days I see you
no butterflies and no I need you's
just air. the air i breath
and maybe right now
thats what I need

Last night I saw you again.
You are perfect in my dreams.

It’s him.
His hair, his eyes (that he hates), its how he says your name, his smile and those sleepy conversations. The way his thumb grazed your bottom lip and it was all you could do not to lean in. It’s the high from those three words, it’s the first thought in the morning and the last at night. It’s how his name falls breathlessly from your lips and yours from his. It’s the pounding hearts that first time, the breathless lungs and the never-ending smiles. It’s him, head to toe. 

It’s everything, then suddenly it’s nothing.

Then it’s smeared make up and dripping eyes. Gasping breaths and breaking hearts. It’s the crippling pain in your chest. It’s falling to the floor with this crushing weight on your chest as you cry out his name. It’s breaking down and thinking the pain will never end.  It’s the why screamed over and over in the night accompanied by the echo of breaking glass. It's heartbreak, plain and simple.

Smoking at the mirror, sulking in a brittle rage,
One so strong, that it easily turns the page.
Without even blinking, I spit powerful words,
Cutting at my ethereal flesh like swords,

Hoping however, I will never run out of mettle,
Hoping the cuts will petrify, letting them settle,
As a great red crack in the skin, for me to wonder
If my swords have risen only from a simple blunder.

My consternation renders me catatonic,
Only the clash of fingers on the keyboard makes me tonic…
While her, she brings me to the doors of Heaven,
From where we drown the world under in a sweet Armageddon.