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teni Dec 2019
silent whispers fill my head
though all of their voices are the same:
yours.
gentle endearments tingle through my ears
walking to my car, the wind wraps its arms around me
and for a passing moment i feel your fingertips on my skin.
the sun is blinding, and in the glare i see
the reflection of me in your eyes.
a dark cloud rolls by and suddenly
its pouring
standing alone in the dark parking lot
unable to distinguish tears from falling rain.
jumping over puddles feels like crashing through waves
in the midst of an evil winter storm.
inside my car is freezing
parallel to the memories i share with you.
i dont know why i wrote this or what corner of my mind this was hiding in.
  Oct 2019 teni
Creator Sun
Hey
Hey.
You probably won't see this,
But what I want to say is that I.
I hate you.

You're stupid.
Filthy.
Unreasonable.
There isn't enough words to describe your awfulnesses.

So why does it hurt?
Why does it hurt when I push you away?
Why does it hurt when you chase someone else?
Why does it hurt so much?

As much as I want to say 'I hate you!',
I realise that I.
I.
I love you.

It's stupid, isn't it?
If I told you this, you'll laugh at me.
Reject me. Pity me.
I just know you will.

And that's why I never told you.
That's why I kept pushing you away.
That's why I'm drifting away, drifting away
From my light. You.

But absence makes the heart fonder,
Doesn't it?
It hurts so much, it feels like I've
Left my heart behind. With you.
I'm salty that my poem got lost due to a connection error. Anyways, do you think this letter fits a Tsundere or Utsudere better? I'm experimenting with letter formats in an attempt to raise my motivation for my scenario writing which is where I've been focusing most of my attention onto. I have a lit exam tomorrow too, so extra practice in analysing my own poem for me!
teni Sep 2019
temporary fulfillment for lifelong emptiness
though we all seek further satisfaction
knowing it won't last
satisfaction cannot be trapped-
nor held by lock and key
our knuckles turn white
due to our lack of willingness to let go
teni Sep 2019
you invite me into your heart
give me a warm welcome

lead me through the foyer
and show me around

but it all feels familiar
i think ive been here before
may i stay for a while?
teni Sep 2019
there is familiarity in abstraction
but only visible to those
who have trained themselves to see the truth
  Sep 2019 teni
Callamasttia
I'm bad at letting go
  Sep 2019 teni
girasol
Daily conflicts between I miss you and I need to love me more
You disappear when your world is perfect
You reappear when you're alone
I've been constant  - always present
Always ready to give you all
I said no more
I am not an option you get to choose
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