Somewhere, amongst the debris
of cigarettes after ***,
chemicals to induce sleep,
I forgot what it means to love.

I forgot what it means to breathe,
to sit still, and just be.

Somewhere, beneath these hooded seams
of solitude and well-versed grief,
beats a heart less cynical,
less tamed by vague distraction.

My nervous ticks and bad habits,
line of best fit for a near-hit
of satisfaction:

This is not enough, I know.
This is not nearly enough
to cool the bray of life
that still rattles meaning in my bones.

I forgot what it means to love,
what separates a house from a home.

Somewhere beyond this thirst
for brand-new words
is a gratitude for all that has been.
Every cliché holds a truth.

Every sentiment, a cocoon,
that I should lie so still inside

until I am wholesome,
until I am new.

It's funny to remember
You loved someone;
The feeling foreign,
Awkward in hand,
Rotting in a way,
But beautiful in yesterday
Or week
Or month, or year -

A decade even -
So far
But not too distant
To remind you
To stay far enough away.

They ask me about my poetry
Done with ease
So easily
Like stars align; astrology
Coded into chemistry
It's basically
Biology
Like a limb;
A part of me
Crackling with energy
Electrical and synergy
Working together like a team
My heart and mind combined
To find that sign, in time
Make poetry!

i was going to therapy
but all it did was make me angry
because thats what happens when you are depressed and filled with anxiety.

the feelings overwhelm the brain,
making it hard to make sense of anything,
as you get beat up in the metaphorical boxing ring.

taking swings left and right,
you can’t put up much of a fight
against the feelings of complete fright.

tired and hopeless,
you begin to give in,
pleading with your thoughts to just take the win.

The dusk is my maker
  My cradle, my keeper  
The dawn, my destroyer
  My coffin, my reaper
The night is my maiden
  My goddess, my muse
The day is my widow
  My black and my blues
The dark is my armor
  My sword and my shield
The light, my crusade
  My faith battlefield
The moon is my wolf
  My loner, my guide
The sun is my lion
  My tyrant, my pride
Casting these shadows
  In which I will hide
From the blinding egos
  That I'm still trapped inside

I feel the cold of the morning
And I know of your heart's longing

You wanna roll with me?
For that's fine by me

How about we do this all day
Forgetting woes of your yesterday

Drying wounds and tears
Far away from your fears

Making love under the rain,
To ease your soul's pain

For sometimes life is happiness,
Even within one's weakness

That in the arms of a darling
forever is never changing