To not let people invest in me
That’s what my motto’s been.
To not invest in people,
I’m leaving at summer’s end.

Why then did I invest in you?
What made me think that you were different?
This is the same old song again.
I’m probably just ignorant.

I give my all and everything.
I make the time to prioritize,
And without fail- imbalance
Try watching with my eyes.

I know that you’re busy,
And I know that you’re stressed.
There’s no reason that you shouldn’t be.
The clock’s counting down, time’s pressed.

Our time together is short too,
I simply wish to be relevant in your life.
The petals keep on falling… Love me,
Love me not, they cut like a knife.

a hundred still bodies
on the floor
wooden
cracking
haunting me
with the ghosts
they leave behind

a powdery smudge
like a shadow
a fingerprint
pressing onto my eyes
seeping
with charcoal
into my mind

i open my window
to the night
i shut my window
to the night

i am unsure of which
one
i should do

should i let them
in
to see
to feel
the light
that they so long for
ending their lives
in quick ecstasy
their hearts shuddering
the way their wings
shiver
in its glow

or should i lock them out
keep them
in the ink of night
to long for
the thing they will always want?

it's amazing,
really,
how can you fall
in love with somebody
in such a short
amount of time
and end up loving
them forever,
even though,
you know they will
never be yours and
you'll never be theirs.

Dream to reach stars but dreams can be broken,
Bitter memories and the pain is unspoken.
It won’t be erased, but submerged beneath new pages.
Expectations do not match reality.
Reality is what you choose to make real.
Turn inside and guage what you have earned,
Smiles will not dissolve forever,
For there is always a lesson learnt.

Be ready to except a fall,
You might be just witnessing an illusion.
Things don’t need to be the way you dream.
'haps you're living someone else’s dream.
The dreamer was an artist, the hand that wrote it all.
Hate is not bad; it’s just an emotion after all.
Paint a picture on the canvas but know that it can be burnt.
Throw the ashes and treasure the scars, to remember the lesson learnt.

Life is not bad; it’s irregular, unanticipated but grand,
Changes make you alive, but through them only one will take your hand.
Time is a two faced arrow, your mind is vicious and vast,
It flows from present to future, but also to the past.
Light is just not beauty, Encompass the dark,
Your canvas will be painted, not alone but with the stars.
When your walk is not alone, when you’re whole you will discern,
One day you cried and now you laugh on what you learnt.

I'd rather be the shattered mess of glass
strewn across the floor
of every hallway in your house
than be the frame
that once held this mirror together

because now that I'm free from the grasp
of this "pride" you so cherished
you can't leave the lonely cave
in your black hole of a heart
without the remnants of me
splitting your flesh
     to
          the
               bone.

This body is a poor man's idea of grandeur-
and Talk To Frank says that confidence doesn't come in tubes,
pills nor injections, but when tomorrow morning you
feel like **** with a stomach-pit of methylamphetamine
and a head craving caffeine,
you'll disagree and say to him,

*Look, I talked to a girl I wouldn't normally talk to and we kissed.

I am guilty of the sin of luck.
Serendipitously born into wholeness.
My head was filled with stars,
the sun placed in my hands.
And I never wanted more.
Who decreed me the fortunate one?
What stroke of fate, what hand of God?
I am grateful.
but why should I be whole
when so many others are broken?

I run into you on lit-up Lovelace lane
On April seventh, waiting for the train
I take you to a restaurant for a glass of champagne
And as I drunkenly talk to you
Words come out, not from the brain, no, no
Not from the brain, not from the sane.

“Oh, the odds of seeing you here;
The coincidence that might appear
to be nothing more than god’s plans
or a coincidence made to rest in his hands

Angel,
I have seen the way
your eyes dulled upon their betray
Angel,
look at me, pure and divine
look at me,
like you’re a heart wrapped in vine
leaves and leaf by leaf I peel
and peak beneath your teal
dress and distress is an understatement
to myself as I stumble on pavement
And god-like would be more like an insult
to the way your laugh sounds; like a cult
of beauty
and feminism
and that lonely wind of sadness
oh God, bless your laugh, God bless

Talk to me,
these echoes are not enough
to satisfy my ears, I honestly can’t bluff
about the way I am desperately in need to hear
you talk, the words leave the lips, the words sincere
the words trail down the hips…
the words dissolve into clips…
the words fall like, snow
into my ears…
And…
I forgot how to think…
But you appear in the blink
of the eye, the sound of a cry
that brings me closer to heaven
and I am silent, I am the raven
I am deaf
to everything but you,
I am deaf

Between you and I
I struggle with rhymes
and I’ve never really loved how my words
were with a twist of the mind, paradoxically absurd
You leave me hanging on the
tip of your tongue
and crushed inside
the muscles of your lungs
please take me out;
there are still a few verses I haven’t
sung.”
                                                  ­       *p.t.