This, no one can ever take away from me
Though I know you are gone
This, I know, they cannot take away from me


When your gaze had a sort of sweetness to it
When your eyes swirl because you were looking at me
When your silence did not matter, just as long as we were together

How can I give this away?

The bitter taste of firsts, now gone
And love thirsts for the same one.

How can I give this away?


.....
I can't
....
I can't seem to--
...
The things you said, with so much passion you lead
me on into the Woods,
into the Valleys,
into the Cities where I thought I would never be.

You took me away,
led me astray
loved me until daylight til' you left.
You left and left and left and you were gone.







They tell me to give up.
And so does my heart.
"You two were always apart
from the very start," they say.
"I know," I reply.



"I know."



The silhouette of you,
the essences you dressed up in
The heart you pulled out of yourself to show me you meant everything....


This, no one can ever take away from me
Though I know you are gone
This, I know, they cannot take away from me

"Darling, if you really loved me you would make it sure.
Darling, if you really loved me you would keep us pure.
Darling, if you really loved me you would leave me alone and know that we are noxious for each other.
Darling, if you really loved me you wouldn't have said those things.
Darling, if you really loved me you would take things for a walk and settle it before evening.
Darling, if you really loved me you shouldn't have taken advantage of the fact that I was so stuck on you!
Darling, you if you really loved me you would've
You would've."

you make me less of a reality by putting me in a box

is it too much ask that you should hope a little?

"don't jump to conclusions," you'll say

but darling, ever will I try to reason this out because I'm scared of our one true final conclusion

which I still am to figure out

Investigate a little won't you?
Peer inside my heart, search my face for a hint of madness
Check if I'm really still in love or if I'm just lonely
Navigate where it hurts, master the facts you have managed to gather up about me
Memorize my expressions, mark my words, highlight phrases that I have said with the entirety of me
Know
Oh please do know how much I've been hurting lately
You can hardly see anymore because of life's dazzling beams, they pull you in to dance, and you'll be dancing forever

Investigate a little won't you? See that there is a crack in my smile.

I remember the olden times
it was not as different as the nights I spend crying knowing you'll be snatched away from me
I uses to stay up dampening my eyelids, just as I am with every night that jabs me in the heart.
even now, I only hold on by less than an inch of your finger
time has washed our warm memories away
but all you think of me is how I can be good for you.
I have always wished for you to disappear
but as long as the poignancy remains,
I will keep denying my good wishes.
forever is nonexistent. Especially in this case, where you are in love with now.
You do not care to ponder, no. That is no fondly business to you.
Unfortunately, that has been my occupation since the distraught had begun in me. If only had I known that death eats us up. It chases us down til' we run out of breath and give up to a new tomorrow.
We will always end with a goodbye, a goodnight, a see you.
And where eternity is, there is no you.

what happened to all the feeling? am I becoming less and less real to you? can't you see that I have a heart and it's dying because of you? you say things I know you don't mean,
please don't mean them.
it only seemed like yesterday when we were laughing without a doubt of whether the future would swallow us up. i still am not quite bothered by it just yet. but if I ask you all about tomorrow you'll say you're unsure.
you won't plead for me to stay anyways, so why should I bother waiting?
why should I bother pinning down my insides to submit to the practicality of my own mind?
why is there an ambivalent voice telling me that this isn't about how I feel, but instead a test whether my love is real?



To stay means to trudge through the thoughts and thorns heavily scraping my chest
To love means to set aside what might benefit me, and instead continually asking "how are you?" even if I know you'll answer that you're more than fine.

And it probably won't bother you that I'll fade away sooner into the sidelines, where the present is the future, and I remember how unsure you always sound--- but that's alright. I still just might be hoping for the best of us.

when it comes to holding honeys dear,

if only i stopped reading your name clear.

though i have not thought about,

what amounts to your smiling pouts,

what our hearts used to shout,

my do I have a doubt.

a voice could steal a part of me,

the darkest of me,

what i chose to behold,

what i have lost to the cold,

what keeps on moulding me

into the person i’m supposed to be.

love, when it comes to holding you dear,

without your hand so near,

it takes all my power,

all my might— along with every fright,

to keep you in sight.

though i do not recall,

our quiet walks in the mall,

or even the reason why i fall,

i still shiver

i still shiver when i try to hold you dear,

you, without a voice in my ear,

encouraging me, “please!”

“won’t you hold me, dear?”

i will hold my honeys dear,

even without a sight of you clear.