So much hope for my love

So much hope

Awash in dancing sea glass light
I watch the ocean late at night
But I have never been

The only ocean that I know
Is filled with wintry frozen snow
That God did not intend

I wander cross it in a fright
While tripping often as it’s night
And slipping on the snow

An owl wings above my head
Reminding me of seagulls led
By merchants to the coast

A barrel loaded to the brim
And sailors singing salty hymns
Assault my ears and nose

I grasp the rough hewn timber rail
And hear the snapping of the sail
Among the clapping waves

The salty air upon my tongue
Turns dark and rough and then we plunge
Upon a pitching swell

A glowing branch lights up the sky
I see it though I’ve closed my eyes
And shines upon some hell

I know it from my darkest fears
And shun such moaning from my ears
All thought has lost its perch

Wait, no more am I staring out
Aloof, aghast, about to shout
Now I see ice-glazed birch

They shiver slightly with the cold
A breeze picks up and takes its hold
On sounds from far away

A quiet whisper fills my head
The voice that wracks a soul with dread
And grabs me by the feet

I stand there frozen to my spot
But seeing only driftwood rot
And float away from me

The icy hand that grasped my throat
And pricked my skin and thinned my coat
Now plays his lilting harp

I fall into a deepened sleep
His lullaby like counting sheep
And nod off in the snow

When I awake, a tropic storm
Has thundered in to greet with warm
But hellish gusts of air

i wish to be apart of your universe
not the whole of it
i wish to be a passing thought
even if it's just for a little bit
i don't want your world to revolve around me
i'm content to be a star
a name you think of within your day
even when i'm far
as long as i'm apart of your memories
it will be all be fine to me
and as long as when recollecting
my face is one you'll see
even long after, i'm no longer here
i hope my voice is something you'll hear
i hope i'm not this passing voice
a distant call or a fleeting choice
i don't want want to be a shadow within your mind
i want to be vivd as you are in mine
i'm not asking your world or even your love
i'm asking if my presence will be enough

will you remember me?

I've lost my good pen.
Try as I might, to write well
My words still fail me.

I'm barely breathing, barely breathing
How can you not tell?
I'm barely breathing, barely breathing
Can you see how far I've fell?

My heart is thumping, heart is thumping
How can you not hear?
My heart is thumping, heart is thumping
It happens when you're near

My legs are shaking, legs are shaking
How can you not see?
My legs are shaking, legs are shaking
It started when you smiled at me

My breathing falters, breathing falters
whenever you pull me close
My breathing falters, breathing falter
Now we are nose to nose

I love you so much, love you so much
So much that it hurts
I love you so much, love you so much
when you say it back you make it worse

I know you love me, know you love me
I know it from everything you do
I know you love me, know you love me
It will be just me and you

A poet is often in darkness
Even when we are young

The nights I strode surely
Then stumbled
On the dark and moonless journey
From my desk to my bed
My lamp being frantically turned off moments before
For there was a sound
That could have been my parents

I had climbed out of bed
Carefully and quietly
The phrases and words and ideas
I had created moments before
still
Darting and flying and hiding and crying
In my head