we are covered
in scars
from internal
fistfights
that bled through
to the outside

She apologized for
the embers he left
in her mind

and for every singed lock of hair
She dropped to her knees
and begged for forgiveness

She said sorry
for protecting the tatters
of her heart

For the shaking earthquake
her hands had become
and for wrapping her arms
tightly around her torso

She regretted trying to hold
her crumbling frame together
When he was not finished with her yet

Aries* - Tell me about every person who broke your heart, tell me about how you fantasize of never being heard of again.

Taurus - Tell me about the demons that tuck you in bed every night and you lay awake and try to fill the void in your heart with lost causes.

Gemini - Do you remember the last time you spilled your feelings out to someone? And had them touch your soul instead of your body? Has anyone ever tried to untangle the mess you heart’s been in?

Cancer - When did you feel the shock of losing someone? When you realized you will never fell their touch or hear their voice, you will only see their smiles in photographs.

Leo - Remember the first time someone told you theyre never going to leave you? How long has the hole you’ve torn in your heart been empty?

Virgo -Tell me about how you’re torn between forgetting them and forgiving them

Libra - Tell me about how you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong people, why it hurts so much when they look at you like that.

Scorpio - Tell me about the first time you felt the weight of hatred on your heart. Who left you so broken that now your eyes would cut deeper than any knife you’ve ever picked up.  

Sagittarius - How many times have you said “why won’t my heart stop beating” before falling asleep?

Capricorn - How many times have you tried to convince your mind that the person you love, loves you back?

Aquarius - Who broke the windows to your heart? You thought it would hurt for a minute but it’s been 4 years and nothing’s changed.

Pisces - How many poems have you written that no one will ever read? The ones  about your ex lovers who left you broken on the bathroom floor while you carved their names on your walls.

I wish someone had told me
he was just a silly child
an empty vessel of a man
a selfish psychopath
a boy blinded by love
who lusted for control
who craved every bloodied part of me

I wish I could tell him
that the thought of his touch
makes me feel ill
makes me feel *****
makes me feel naked

I wish he had loved me properly
from the beginning
the way a man should
with tender kisses and
even softer words

I wish I had left him
10 days in
3 weeks in
when he said "I love you"
when he hung up the phone
when I hung up the phone
when I forgot how to laugh
when I had my first anxiety attack
or the second one
or the third

*I wish I didn't love him