maybe i loved too hard and trusted too much
maybe i only have myself to blame
maybe i should have kept my heart guarded like all the times before
maybe if i hadn't let him in this wouldnt hurt so much.
maybe
maybe
maybe
maybe i was meant to love to have heartbreak
maybe it is for the best
maybe this is how it was supposed to be
maybe
maybe
maybe
maybe you never loved me
maybe i should have seen it coming
maybe you cared too little
maybe

some nights i hate you and some nights i love you but
more then anything i wish you happiness, even at the cost of my own.

       - the hardest goodbye

some nights i question my worth.
even though i know i should not.
i wonder if i had been enough would he have never hurt me, would he have fought for me, for us.
if i had been enough would he of moved on so quick.
you told me you loved me but if you loved even the smallest parts of me you never would have made me feel this way.
and so some nights i question my worth
even when i know i should not.

not sure what im looking for exactly, but i can tell you what i do not want.
I do not want to be a moment that you dont think twice about.
I do not want to be someone you used to know.
I do not want to be something that was but that never meant much.
I want to be the moment you replay again and again.
I want to be someone who makes your heart full.
I want to be something you cant go without.

to be more then anyone ever has before.
to love you fully and whole heartily with no regrets.

to be enough.

The scary thing, the saddest part.
They might forgive you
But they might not want you back.
And you have to be okay with that.

grab a pen and paper
now write at the top of the paper, "things I  want"
list all of the things you desire. Money aside, reality aside, what is it that you truly want.
next write " things I need"
and list the things that keep your heart beating. the things that make you get up every morning. your hopes and dreams, your ambition.

now compare.

are the things you need lining up with the things you want?
does what make you want to be better also want you want to be?
ask yourself, "is this how i want to live"

I’ve never been in love
But I know that one day I’ll be enough.
You won’t go, you won’t leave, you’ll stay here with me
And my heart will finally have a home.
All the walls that I’ve bulit will come crumbling down and
I’ll be always yours, to have and to hold, forever until we grow old.