I get really upset
and where are you
the one I am meant to tell everything to.

Where were you
when he died
all my anger
I can no longer hide.

Like the baker and the bread
we used to be
but you sold every slice
then there was no longer me

let
thy soul
step into
the
fresh
moonlight
and
be
forever changed
by
the
moonlight dance
and
forever changed

I think I’ll
Die inside
Tonight,
Cut words into
My flesh
And watch
The verses bleed
Until my veins
Are drained
Of any remnants
Of this sadness

Or maybe
I will drift
Into a serotonin sea
And drown
Under the swells
Of tablets white
And sea-foam green
To feel the ease,
The quiet hum
Of my heart
As it goes numb

I think
about him
too much. I know
he doesn't think
about me.

And how simple
it was
for me
to fall. And how easy
it was
for him
to get up and get on.

I think,
when I see him,
I think more than I've ever thought
about him, or them,
or anyone.

I think
two people
alone
is better than one-- that two
scars can bleed as much as one-- that
words run hot from the sink to drown out the sun--I think.

How easy it is to say one
thousand words and, still, never quite
enough.

fists clenched
fingers torqued,
palms reddened

raise up the length
twist tight -the center,
muscle, guns...

feel the power
cheek to cheek
gobsmacked...

I live to see my arms.

Admire me.

in the pink room
i left my water-colors

For the smallest lick of kindness
I'll forgive ******
I'll move mountains, lay my belly flat down on the ground, ******* up **** syrup, frolicking in ****.
For your smallest act of kindness,
I'll strip naked
Let you touch my body and pretend I love you
Just please God hold me through the darkest night.
Look at me with kindness,
And I'll clothe you, take you to my home
Feed you all my hard-earned food and shove second helpings on your plate.
For a little bit of kindness,
For the one who stitches back together my shredded sanity
I'd do it all, God, let me do it all.