The world is happening and I am
absent
my voice sharp
uncomfortable
a clog in its gears.

A diesel stalls on your back

you bear the oil
crawls into your clothes
you are heavy with black

you bear each step
forward feels steeper than the last

you bear heaving--

it's what your mother taught you to do

now you understand
she was carrying her own diesels

bearing yours too

I spend the night trying to run from the storm
wrapping its arms around this town

but its roar
the thought of her

too intrusive too raging too electric

her rain softens the earth around my naked heart
the one I buried just for her

I lie awake stuck at 9, 894  
being unearthed is painful

I argue with the storm
until I realize there's no outrunning myself

light is a gift

drink it

my skin will be its cradle

When we were in the classroom
we'd draw up the shades
to welcome sunlight.

We were one:
in exhaustion
frustration
excitement.

There is something fundamental to learning
that lies in the energy of the body;
what one body becomes
among others.

I hope you can all remember
what we became
together.

"I want to feel you from the inside,"
while the best I can do is:
my love boat on your love boat.

I smell you like a flower.
I eat you like one too.