I should be out of tears by now
have cultivated the strength of a warrior

I wish I knew why I keep waking up
in the morning
                           (despite the night)

again, again, again

It’s like
The voice
Of a lost
Loved one
Echoing clear
Guiding you
On this path
Have no fear
Close your eyes
Sleep sound tonight
They are always present
When you need them most
The compass in a sandstorm
There just enough to guide you through
Downpours and wipe away tears dropping down
To form a puddle, don’t worry dear because they quickly
Dry to reveal a rainbow and the skies sing and bleed sun rays.

I again visited my garden of despair
Watered with tears of woes and neglect
And now that the pond of bliss is arid
I once again asked myself
What flowers can thrive on these barrens?
Then I glanced at the blossoms of withered memories
Scattered as wreckage from a landslide
The bushes of harrowing pain I found
Arranged in a line of endless thorny shrubs
Decayed trees bearing the fruit of deceit
Still cast a shadow of contorted lies
I then trod as lightly and slowly as I could
Then plucked a fruit from a rotten tree and got its seeds
And with a chalky smile I hummed a quiet tune
Even in the death of my garden
I saw the promises of healing
As I walked past the rusty trellises and tarnished fences
I welcomed my sanguine memories of perfect and scented blooms
Visions of sun-drenched leaves greeted my anguish with a sliver of silver lining
It doesn’t matter if my garden left me with nothing
What now matters most is here in my hands are seeds of hope

I loved that you didn´t
Care about me
Or my mistakes
Or my disease

I loved that you didn´t
Seem to pretend
That you were more
Than simply a friend

I loved that you were
As deadly as fire
And the only one
That I´d ever desire

I loved your excuses
So perfectly made-up

I loved you were hurting
When I finally gave up

I woke up from a nightmare
I could not stand to keep
to myself

you were stretched across the couch
coffee going cold on the table
a half finished cigarette
still burning

you wrapped me up
in kind words that
I could not bare
to hear

whispered into my ear
"one day we will go wandering
and this tiny house will overspill
with dreams'

you are not your memories, darling
you are not the bad things
that have been done to you
you are a fierce flame
that warms my heart

forget them, my love
they are nothing
and you, and you
are everything