I am the wild beast they fear,
however,
impeccable control keeps inner linings
intact.

I await for the day,
that I am allowed to unleash
the *****
you called by name,
but
never
got
to
see.

You ask what i want you to say but even in my own mind it feels like a game.
A sunken ship, no way to escape.
Feels like a puzzle, with no coordinating pieces.
It's the most stressful assignment. The easiest mission.
God is fooling me
Satan is pushing me it seems
It all feels so wrong and yet so right
The gunshots at the wedding
You know the meaning
We’ve discussed it
The risk of love
The risk of us
The deathly toll that hangs above your head
It's too dangerous
The dream
It's a warning
Blood for release
Release for victory
You could be used as leverage
I wont let that happen
Not to such an innocent flower
I can not bring my hell unto you
I feel like this happens everytime
We run this same race
You forget
Youre a heaven
While i am a Hell
You a pure white cloth while I a red linen
Two different worlds clash everytime we kiss
While i crave the feeling
I know the consequences
The emotional weight i leave you when we part
The High i get is the low you recieve
I never meant to hurt you.
To make you feel defeated.
To push you over the edge
You tell me im a good person but it's the opposite.
I don't deserve you.
You give me so much,
An escape when i need it,
A loving family, a home.
All i give you is hell and my cursed self
I try to change myself for you but the darkness always takes over.
I can't deny it, the black calls for me.
i know you need me as much as i need you.
I need you like the lungs need oxygen..
Like the wolves need the sheep.
You are my saving grace.
I feel as though all i am for you is your death wish.
I ruin you.
I hurt you.
I bring you agony.
I hate myself .
You love me.
All i am is demented and a wretch.
All i am is a demon killing you slowly.
Im sorry. Im nothing compared to an angel like you.

We don’t get
Those seconds back
Don’t look back
So fast
Or the memories
Might not last
Everything
Reminds me
Of when
You were here
The lessons
You taught me
Along the way
The laughs we
Had and the
Tears we cried
That time when
I had reached
The edge
& could take
No more
You remained
Calm to help
Me endure
Even though
You yourself
Were barely
Holding on
You’re now
Gone
But not
Forgotten
The memories
I’ll keep here
Forever
Until I’m
Where you rest