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 Jun 2014 Darby Rose
Sade LK
When you're a kid
Some nice person gives you a balloon.
You hold it in your hand by its string;
Touch the shiny tension
Knowing you could pop it at any point.
That feeling.
But I don't wanna talk about
When I was a kid, anymore,
And I've grown so old talking about it.
Cause all I can think of, nowadays
Is a not-so-nice person, giving me
A balloon for $20- that good ****.
I hold it in my hand by the
String of what is keeping me alive;
Touch the black and strum the tension in your
Head's sick symphony.
You're ******* sick, and
Knowing you could pop at any point.
It's that feeling.
But I don't wanna talk about feelings, anymore.
Cause I could never really tell if
I ever felt at all- but this is
All too much
And I have got to get my fix.
It's another $20, it's another
Tension in my head, and
Please, balloon man, make this
Feeling go away.
I don't wanna talk about
How it bubbles, right before
The s  l  i  d  e.
The chase, the
Tickle.
The honey sweet- try not to puke;
The relief.
The relief.
The relief.
The relief.
The relief.
Fix me.
A paradise of
Strung out dreams.
You shake and hang your head
Below the bowl, nodding out while throwing up.
I am the modern grunge queen-
The rockstar essence
Musical inspiration.
My guitar has never wept so pure
And begged for more like my
Voice was a cure-
But it isn't. And nothing is.
But this
Makes everything
Better, in the worst way.
Driving home the next day.
The sensation of wanting something
More than air
But can't breathe.
**** me.
**** me.
**** me.
Written June 5th, 2014
 Jun 2014 Darby Rose
Grace
Untitled
 Jun 2014 Darby Rose
Grace
I shall quiet the cries
living in the back of my mind
and halt their attempts to skew and redefine
what it means to feel joy..

Joy? What's all this talk about joy?
What is this polarized dialogue
between what I feel and what I think
and what I think I feel?
                                      
                                      I am life, is that enough?
                                      I am cold, should I be worried?
                                      I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry for what I've put you through. I am sorry for my foolish dwellings where I chose to reside.
Could have burned them down
Could have drowned it out
Instead I chose to ache for you and wait for you
to make me change.
Tonight while trying to sleep
It finally occurred to me
You need change
To create memories.
Some people like those things
Usually when they are good
Make you smile force you to laugh
It seems most people like bad ones
Just look at all that pain
All that panic in the streets
Not in the whole wild world
Ive been places where there is only






And the rain always brings change
Especially in those places ive been
Where there are no streets- and
I cant easily move my mattress
Out into my own front room
Near my balcony , prop my door open
And listen to it drizzling into memory
Of me lying there pretending like
Im trying to sleep somewhere there is





.......
2014 will be my year.
It is my year.
The year I learned
sometimes we cry because we are
so
*******
happy.
The year I learned there was
love for me,
all around the world,
before my feet have touched European soil.

In 2014, I learned to start doing things for myself.
And I learned that when you are nothing but authentic,
it draws more people to you.
I learned to embrace my
honesty,
my sensitivity.
2014 was the year I learned that
what is popular
is not ineviable truth.
And if you choose to be one of the few people left who still has
***** to give,
people are drawn to that too.

I learned that
many of the reasons that people love me,
are the same reasons I love people.
In 2014 I made beautiful, important,
imperfect decisions.
I want this to be a year I'll look back on with pride,
knowing,
not that I found myself,
but, more so, that I was
never missing.
You all are here for the same thing
Money printed in the same green font
Tattooed "in god we trust" on our chest
Irony is that god is a million dollars
Turning itself into two, while you sleep
Some steal for greed, we just **** slowly
Orders for powders that steal your soul
Out of your nose , ripped up the right nostril
Some of us prefer the mud , hovering close to death
Describe a sunset to a blind man, high off ****
Asking for the sunrise to get himself breakfast
Society works at certain times, buttons for pushers
Fiends saving money for their own demise
I would rather die high as hell and float down
Then be as low as I am when im sober.
Forgive me.
I can't help wanting to plant kisses on you always.
For all the scary things you've shown me about myself,
and how you've always managed to hold on to me afterwards.
With shaking shoulders and a tender tremble from my
nose to my toes.
And how you have loved them,
and all the places in between.
I want to kiss you always,
but it is so much more than that.
Lips alone are not enough to disclose the emotions behind them.
They are clumsy in motion, and falter, between speeches, and sleep-talking, and sometimes they plant themselves on your neck, or chest, or forehead, in an effort to say
"Forgive me.
I don't have the words to tell you that you are beautiful and wonderful and magical.
Forgive me,
because I don't know how to explain that you mean the world to me.
Forgive me because
I am so headstrong, I will never let myself need anyone,
but if there was ever a person for me to need
I swear that it is you."
And those lips will stumble in search of the perfect place to kiss, so as to tell you these things, until they find
yours.
Resting quietly below two soft blues shining out of your skull,
with all the aches of a lovely soul,
and when you kiss back,
all is forgiven.
She makes me vivid
Happy because it is
Beautiful simply because

She gives me kisses
Not hers, they are mine
How uniform this is

We make each other
Happy because we are
Beautiful soulely  because
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