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843 · Sep 2018
You
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
You
You throw a stone at me thinking it's a pebble.
And I keep it in my backpack with the others.
Chocking air out of my lungs.
Kicking me in the gut.
Feelings don't look glittery enough?
Wait, I'll pour some blood on them for you.
Yet you walk with an umbrella under the sun.
No one can touch you.
Not even the sand,
Because I walk beneath you in your head.
And when I get angry
You begin talking about how I was a mad mat,
How I didn't walk in a straight line with stones
Or took deeper breaths because of my broken bones.
I take another deep one and I let it be.
You were the longest I had ever known someone to be.
And then came a pebble, when I expected neutrality.
And came in the stone when I wanted peace.
Separation is what I want.
Separation from your noise, from your grey area.
249 · Sep 2018
Me and my fear
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
Slipped and fell.
Vicious cycle of doom.
Telling new lies to those old People,
Those people who used to fill up every wound.
I feel like I am being chocked.
No air, available for me.
No oxygen going through my lungs.
No love waiting for that sweet release.
That doll still stares at me.
The one kept in a box since 2.
She looks me deep inside, up and down.
I think she remembers what made me blue.
Even so maybe with it, what's the worse that can happen?
Will she summon me to hell?
Hell's hot for a good reason then.
Or will she send me to my fear?
Isolation.
Anything and everything, because
I told someone soon enough, everything scares me.
Could it be she heard me?
Split the second, I see tiny creatures.
Spiders freely crawl up my neck.
Maybe they think it's a safe space.
Maybe they know no one will come.
Or yet maybe I locked the door,
Maybe because I don't want anyone to save me.
I don't ever want to see the sun.
201 · Sep 2018
Divided
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
Dark entity in my mind.
Eyes of gold have been closed.
What was blossoming in bright red
Is now a ******* rose.
Standing in the shadows of trees,
Green on his hand.
Left this place long ago,
But right now here I stand.
Rivalry with the past, friendship with the future.
This friendship will not stand.
It sits on the pedestal of my mind.
The mind that has been overpowered by the dark entity,
The entity that has put me in rewind.
Pull up the socks, push out the door.
Get going on this ride for two.
My seat seems half empty,
But like the water, it is half full.
Tattoos are screaming,
"Play it my child, play it one more time.
You want it I know, you want your demons to shine"
But the pause button left untouched.
The background noise now subsided.
For every step that now my body makes,
My mind stands divided.
172 · Sep 2018
Giving happy a chance
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
So sitting across my drunk friend,
I decided to give happy a chance.
A chance on my paper,
A chance on the brim of my creativity.
A chance in my mind because,
I already gave a chance to my heart.
So sitting across my drunk friend,
I talk about how am I going to write happy?
Would I write about smiles or,
Would I write about the hypocrisy of nature?
Where the rains depict sadness but they fill my body with joy.
My emotions are so black in hindsight,
For them maybe happiness is just a toy.
So sitting across my now tipsy friend,
I ask her, how should I convey my notion?
Taking the last shot of whiskey and juice
She ,herself with a taint sorrow, laughed at my face and my motion.
My infrences were way too philosophical for her taste.
It's difficult to express, easy to feel.
This capital letter H is shown to be so glamourous in reel.
Maybe happiness is fairy dust scattered over a few lands.
I guess, when I am happy and I know it, I'll just clap my hands.
161 · Sep 2018
Going down to preach
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
Out here in the cold,
I sink my feet into the water.
Though my throat is sore,
But does it even matter?
I dove into the future,
I dove into his name,
Has he that power on me?
I cry in shame. 
The flow takes me over,
The deepness too.
Passing through new horizons,
Who knew, I could be like him too.
In the potions of gratitude for him,
I could always invest.
But with that growing feeling,
Would I be there to tell you the rest?
Will that strength engulf me?
Or will it let me be?
Will his story guide me?
Or will I be like the nook to his knee?
My questions confuse me,
He left giving no answers.
My thoughts strike me,
Like sun in the darkest hours.
Does this make sense to you?
Because he never did to me.
The shattered glass of the vase I broke,
Still lies on the ground right next to me.
Thoughts provoking.
Eyes deceiving.
What could I do more to come out of this state?
The bottle doesn't seem to help me 
In keeping that memory distant and safe.
My decision is made, the mind is clear.
No tick or tock is going to make me wait.
The intention is set and I am going in debt,
Of all the people trying to make me feel so great.
For a natural disaster and a natural remedy are naturally destined to occur,
And now, the time is right with the bait high up.
And I am certain I will reach.
Just one more step and I am there,
Going down but staying up to preach.
-Dakshiani Bhan
158 · Sep 2018
My magic
Dakshiani Bhan Sep 2018
Loose jumper and shirt with a hint of 80's vibes.
Wears glasses made of summer '97,
Draws out the darkness from white lies.
The left side of my eye are the rifles,
The right side looks for safety.
Meanwhile, sitting straight sipping on coffee Marvels,
Makes me wonder the different directions of my cravity.
We matched on some levels,
One thing a lil too much.
Found Glory in Sharing happy memories.
Though mine haven't seen the day as such.
Sun and the moon, my best friends
Warned me about the clouds.
Saw many different sizes and shapes,
But before no one escaped my doubts.
The premise is set, probably for me works like magic.
Maybe found a cure for my music taste.
Maybe found something worth saving from the tragic.

— The End —