I give myself to guys
            hoping they will give me something
I seem to be missing.

*they give me nothing but purple bruises and drunken kisses no wonder they say I’m all gone

share your words with me
          let's relax in this simplicity
     each word I read
                     it plants a seed
            inside my heart
                  inside my bones
                             I grow and grow until
                     similes fall
            I reach and reach until
                        metaphors breach
                                 my fingers are pens
                                     my heart is the source
      that brings forth all of my poetry
                     time for the second course

Sometimes we let ourselves go,
We let our significant other control our minds.
We’re there for our friends but what happened to no man left behind?
When did liquor bottles become our safe haven?
We put glass against our wrist because our high self esteem was taken
By people we trusted most, by people we don’t even know.
They’ll tell you life isn’t fair, but they’re the ones treating your life like a show
With lights and cameras and they get away with it because they didn’t yell action, they whispered it
Into ears they promised not to tell.
No wonder your life is utter hell
We intrust people that tell us comforting things
But what we don’t know is that with comfort, a knife they bring
And they stab you in the places you don’t realize are wounded
And later that same year with that same friend, you’re excluded.
Tell me why we cry at night when no ones around to hear,
Tell me why we put our skin against spears.
I hate the fact that the one we love most and can see living our entire human lives with
Is the one that hurts us and makes us feel unworthy.
Why do we live our lives like a contradiction?
When did causing ourselves pain become an addiction?
We want to be happy, yet we surround ourselves with people who make us feel sad,
We want to follow our dreams, yet we act like they are dreams we never had.
We want to live a long life, but we pray to God to die every day,
It’s year 17’ and we’re slowing starting to decay.

i'm not always happy & there's not always a reason
i talk a lot & repeat myself because of my anxiety, i'm sorry if I annoy you
i don't love myself
i think i'm too tall
i have trouble looking people in the eyes
i pop my knuckles
music makes me happy
art brings me peace
i love kids & want to have many of my own, i'm sorry if that's a deal-breaker
i need my alone time due to being an introvert
if i know you well, i will open up to you
i can be wild & crazy
alcohol is my best friend  
cigarettes are apart of me
i enjoy the night sky
adventure calls my name
i live young, wild, & free
i'm insecure
i love to laugh
i embrace my freckles & stretch marks
i believe women are downgraded, i'm not sorry if that's too feministic
i can't dance but i do it anyways
i'm overprotective & get jealous
i have a painful past that doesn't define me
i believe i can succeed if I put my mind to it
i never give up
mistakes mostly end up being choices
love is hard to come by so grab it up when ya find it
life is simple, we just tend to complicate that process

shes so exhausted
that she can't even change her clothes
she just lays down in bed
with the tv on
and the lamp still glowing
she cries herself to sleep
and if you could have seen her laying there
with a damp face
and tangled hair
you wouldn't have wondered why she was so tired
and why she was crying
you would have thought
she's so beautiful
she makes sadness look exquisite
and tiredness seem lovely
how beautiful, a girl so weak
*yet I bet she can fly in her dreams

She's grown up so much
I see myself in her everyday
Who knew that little bitty baby born in late November could grow up so fast
•Autumn Rose•
My season flower
She's my reason for living
She makes me want to wake up at the crack of dawn
She's my happiness
Five months old and just seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms for the first time
Seventeen years old, a junior in high school and you would think this would throw me off or stop me from graduating
But it hasn't
It's made me want to try harder
Not for me, but for my daughter
Still number one in my class and I will be valedictorian
I will show my daughter how I did this for her
People have told me to drop out
That I won't make it
But I know better
When I make it, I promise I will remember those who doubted me
For once in my life, I am content
I am happy to be on this earth and to have a beautiful daughter
•Autumn Rose•
Mommy loves you
*My season flower