Cement walls surround me.
The silence tortures me.
Crossed legged on the bed
With my head down,
Staring at a razor blade.

Oh how it excites me to see,
Blood dripping from an area where my watch should be.
I am numb to physical pain.
As i have had enough insanity.

I know deep down,
My heart screams for salvation.
Yet a stronger part that shares it,
Gives hell in ways unknown.
It screams but no one is hearing it,
Not even me.

Familiar to the situation.
Where I screamed and no one listened.
Where I spoke and no one responded.
Where I cared and no one seemed to appreciate.
The impact was stronger than they thought.
They say I'll be fine and Oh how I agreed.
Then they left.

Now I am left unloved.
Forced to smile when I don't want to.
Forced to cover up on sunny days where it's hot.
Forced to cry and refuse to go Out.
They don't love me.
And I do not know how to love myself.

My God
What have I done?
I was your son
Perched beneath the sun
Suddenly I sunk below the horizon
And threw myself beneath
To swim in regret and pain
Sorrow is vain and that stains

My God
To fly with the birds
And to see what I have seen
And to dream dreams that have fruited into reality
It seems ironic
And filled with intimacy, turned to oddities

My God,
What have I done?
To measure my options
To dive straight in
And leave emptier than before
An illusion of course,
To hear the sweet sounds of divinity
Yet fall into the ocean deep

Oh God what have I done?
To fail
To try
To free fall
And to lose
To touch the clouds and feel the breeze
To glide across with the trees
And be ceased by reality

My God
What have I done?
Was it me?
Was it me?

© Tristan B. (Tristan B)

In this story I always wind up alone
Replay after repeat
Repeat after pause
I cannot slow it down
Shut it off
Or turn the channel
It plays over and over again
Players never different
Mood constantly changing
The end always the same.

The soul is what makes up a person. People can break your soul, so guard it with everything you've got. Most people don't want to break it. They want it for themselves. They leave you soul-less. So guard it with all you've got. The people of this world pretend like they love you, they pretend to be your friend. You can't trust them. They say they'll never leave you like the othera did. Then when they take your soul, they find another victim taking your soul with them. So guard it with all you've got. It's the one thing you won't regret.