If you thought of

all the little things

that caught your

undivided attention

over the years,

the things you covet

and cherish and protect,

those that you value

and appreciate,

every little thing

that you have ever

come to love,

if you thought of these

and I asked you

to compile a list of them,

how far down

would you have to go

before

you ever

named


*yourself?

this is just
a small piece
dedicated to
the sweetest stranger
I've ever met online
(not that I make a habit
of making new friends
on the internet).
Thank you for
always giving me
kind words
and warm wishes
and appreciating
the love that
I have to give.

The meaning of leaves in
a refreshing cool wind
He chose to live
for friendship
Not for that
other thing

I have to stop.
All this has to stop.
Writing about  you, about what I feel for you.
That doesn't help.
I have to forget you.
You are my worst almost.

I have to move on.
We were nothing anyway huh.
Everything was in my head, right.
Get out of my head, my heart and my soul.
I will not write about you anymore.

what does (s)he see in me?

my heart feels like lead

all the color in my life is gone,
but all the cones in my eyes are intact.

I never should have woken up

am I that dispensable?

I can't remember what it felt like
before the darkness came.

That just invalidated all my efforts

I’ll only be a burden

They’re just being polite

Why should I even bother?

I wonder if my family sees
the hurt in my eyes
and elects to ignore it

The night is always darkest
before the dawn.

It’s always okay to cry.

I have someone with whom I can
share my dreams and my nightmares,
my worries, my muses and inspirations.

It always gets better in the end.
If it’s not better, it’s not the end.

What makes me happy
doesn't have to make others happy.

My opinions matter,
I am worth something,
and I deserve to be loved.

I've moved ten times
within four states
in the first eleven years of my life.
I've said good-bye to
best friends and
influential teachers,
favorite spots to read and
a few great ice cream shops.
Initially I always regretted
having to leave behind comforts
but then I realized
there are so many better things
to say good-bye to.
When you move, when you start anew,
say good-bye to all the ****** things.
Say farewell to all the times
that you felt lost,
leave behind all of the
old bruises and scars
(although it is a good idea
to remember and learn from them,
it's better they stay in the past)
Bid "adieu" to every instance
you felt less than whole.
Rid yourself of these unnecessary
weights on your chest
and move on,
taking a new breath as you go.

I just wanted to say
that I'll always
love you infinitely more
than you could ever hate yourself.
So if you ever need a reminder
of all the reasons you could be loved,
come into my arms and
let my hands dance down your back,
I'll tell you different ways I love you
with every vertebra I touch

Listen.

Let’s just strip down to the skin and warm each other up under these covers. I want to lay down atop you and let my head rest on your waist, snug between those lovely hips of yours, just above your ***. I want my hands to waltz around your thighs and listen to your gentle breathing synchronize with mine. I want to feel you giving in to this moment, I want to feel your body let go and your muscles unclench.

I want it to be completely quiet around us, not the dead kind of silence, the kind that’s comforting and warm. We don’t need words, our touch conveys what our hearts beat for.

Don’t think.

I don’t want you thinking about what’s happening tomorrow, what time the game is on, don’t think about what’s for dinner. Don’t think about that argument we had last week that still sits in your heart. Let it go dear, just for now. Don’t think.

Run your hands through my hair and think of all the memories we’ve made since the last time I cut it. Caress my face and look into my eyes, darling.

Now close yours. Close your eyes and open yourself up to me. I want to take my time in taking you in. I want to spend eternities on your lips, darling. I want to cup your face in these hands of mine and kiss you; I don’t want that kiss to lead to anything, it doesn’t need to. I want it to convince you of my undying love for you. Drink in the right-now of this moment, of me. I want to sit back and admire every inch of you, my dear, from your flowing tresses down to your toes, and everything in between. I want my hands to run down your valleys and hills and let my lips paint your landscape.

I want you to smile at me from under my touch and let out a laugh as I cover your face with happy kisses. Not the kind of laugh you’d give someone telling a joke, not the kind of laugh you force when someone says something mean. This is my laugh, you’ve saved it just for me, it’s sweet and soft and vulnerable and that’s okay because that’s how we feel right now.

I want to roll you over and let your body lay atop mine and simply hold you, caressing your every curve and warming your heart and your soul.

And then I want to do it again the next day, and every day afterwards until our bones are brittle and our days are at an end.