I've come to the realization that after all this time I have not been missing you

I have just missed being in love

it's much easier to push people away
before they get the chance to do the same to you

my heart is a forest
reaching for miles it once held so much color
so much life
until one day it was burned down by another

flowers tuned to ashes
trees burned down to the ground
the forest that once screamed I love you's
now doesn't even make a sound

another's touch brings in life
but never to stay
fills my heart with butterflies
until they all decided to fly away

my heart can't sustain life
I'm nothing but dead inside
everyone keeps asking if I'm still okay
and I have always lied

my heart is a forest
reaching for miles it once held so much color
so much life
until one day it was burned down by another

in my dreams I was still good enough for you

morning sunshine
shines over last nights regret
uncovers the shadows
a boy I feel like I have not met

though I wake up next to him
I know nothing but his skin
not a name to his face
but I already let him in

days pass and he is absent from my life
his face replaced by a number just added to the list
I'm not worth a call or a text
although we already kissed

he posts pictures with her
and doesn't respond to me
the alcohol goes down to heal the pain
till that new boy at the party is all I can see

morning sunshine
shines over last nights regret
uncovers the shadows
a boy I feel like I have not met

I spent hours trying to write a poem about my depression
but my depression kept telling me it still wasn't good enough

all I know is that all the mirrors have been smashed-
I finally got tired of looking into them
and trying to figure out what it is about me,
that makes me so easy to forget