Meliah: Poems

Meliah Mar 25

I go back to the darkness
To exist with the pieces of her that remain there.
Fragments of laughter, echoes of childhood
Flicker between the shadows

I would walk back into hell
If it meant all of her could escape
If I could gather her shards
I'd use my own blood as the glue

If the pain I failed to protect her from Could be my own
I'd sink into the pool gladly
And let the poison drown me

Would I lose myself? Yes
But she would be free.

If only I could heal your wounds and take them as my own. I love you. I hope you're doing okay.

#abuse #survivor #deals #friendship #childhood

Before and After

Meliah Apr 10

Before and After

Footprints on the beach,
Picking up stories like shells for our collection
Every step we move forward is to leave behind something,
But what do we leave?
People?
Places?
Memories?
The old me?

Droplets in the ocean
Trying to change the way the tide is moving,
To become the tempest, I have to leave the stream,
But what changes?
People?
Places?
Temporary things?
The new me?

The sun sets on the mountains,
Taking away the warmth of day,
I find myself believing in wishes on stars,
And what will happen?
People?
Places?
Dreams?
The future me?

We are growing and changing, but what will we become when the growing is done?

Coliseum

Meliah Mar 13

Coliseum

I am a Coliseum—
Broken, but still standing,
A relic of past glory,
Hinting at a time when I stood tall, whole, and victorious.
When the battles fought within me were always won by the hero.

But slowly, the battles grew harder.
The hero began to falter,
Until she lost everyone.
Until her determination shattered like glass,
Almost as sharp as the razor blade against my walls.
Until crimson blood leaked from her chest,
Staining my jeans as it spilled from our bodies in unison.

She died, and I was left in a gray, hollow way of living.
Trying to make sacrifices of my own flesh
To revive the fearless woman she once was.
But I failed—again and again—
Fighting my own battles,
Facing my own shadowed lions,
Until I, too, was dead.

I've decided to stay that way.
Tablets for writing may record it,
And tablets for pain may propel it.
I drink some water to make it easier to swallow

I wrote this 8 years ago (I did edit it). I wrote it in highschool when I was depressed and suicidal. OBVIOUSLY I am much better now. If you feel like this- it's not everlasting.

#trigger #warning #self #harm

From Half of You

Meliah Mar 25

From Half of You

Dad:
Knock Knock

Me:
Who's there?

Dad:
Hike

Me:
Hike who?

Dad:
Unsuspecting child
Dad waiting with bated breath
Sets the perfect trap

Me:
My dearest father,
Alas, your trap was not sprung
I saw it coming.

Dad:
My sweetest daughter,
I was just bragging on you,
And you turned on me.

Me:
You made this menace
They say you reap what you sow
-From your pride and joy

Dad:
Alas, you wound me,
I'm but partially at fault,
You are your mom's clone.

Me:
Mom does not haiku
This mischief is all from you
I got lots from you

Dad:
Only half from me,
Haiku from me is recent,
But it made you smile.

Me:
I value both halves
I am proud to be of you
I love you daddy

A playful haiku exchange between my dad and me, inspired by a classic dad joke gone poetic.

#family #haiku #dad #jokes #silly #fun #playful

Love and Math

Meliah Mar 21

Love and Math

She poetically talks about how we are two asymptotes
As we got infinitely closer
We got infinitely farther away

Or maybe we are parallel—
Maybe we never really met
But forever are bound going the same way

“If only I could make you forget.”
As if forgetting would do anything
But have me make the same mistake again

Maybe we are a tangent line
Only meeting once
Then disappearing forever

Or maybe I am i,
Imaginary, irrational, impossible—
A unicorn in the margins of your notes,
A number that doesn’t exist,
Except when the equation demands it.

You called me that once,
A unicorn,
Something too rare to be real,
Too strange to hold onto.

But even imaginary numbers have value,
So tell me, if I was never real—
Why does the math still haunt you?

"The universe and math are intertwined
From one, meaning of the other derived
Things add up in the end they always do
So what’s to say of me and you?

Of life and love I profess little knowledge
And disaster, most certainly, at any involvement
I am grown at heart, yet adolescent at mind
Forever fearful of and adept at wasting time

Be reminded I bear you no resentment
I just have a hard time finding contentment
My motives are senseless, my motion so tense I dispense with my friends just to find time to rest
So it seems that we’re diametrically opposed
I’m distant, while you wouldn’t let your friends go

I am meant to fly, always airborne in my dreams
I am whimsy and caprice, you are steady nurturing
I am the rain turned to hail by a cold winter breeze
I am (un)sentimental, with bipolar tendencies
I am inconsistent, with infinite possibilities

I am, I am, I’m a narcissist at best
I am interesting, but do not deserve your interest
“We accept the love we think we deserve”
The best movie quote I think I’ve ever heard
It’s not science, or math, or empirical
It’s honest observation of the human soul

My love is tender yet impatient, both elegant and graceless
I know little of your love, but just enough to not embrace it
When it’s mind over matter I fall back on the heart
And truth is, I knew I would hurt you from the start

I’ve no shortage of words to offer you
Everything and anything will I do
Not for your forgiveness but for you to forget
I’ll say anything to get myself out of your head
And I know my words added up to a different path
But you should never trust a poet, cause they can’t do the math"

#math #love #breakup

Pretty Eyed Bird

Meliah Mar 30

Pretty Eyed Bird

Sweet little bird with stormy eyes
You are not mine
Flap away to find
One of your kind
One that loves the mountains
One that loves the darkness at night
One that loves the calmness
Of the black and white knights

Funny little bird with eyes of the sea
You are not mine to keep
Fly away you will see
That I have set you free
I may have bruised your heart
But sweetie,
I didn’t tear it apart

Strong little bird your eyes are green
They are like the grass of spring
Dry your tears
And don’t you fear
When I locked you out
It was not to make you shout
My window was not your home
You will find your own

Kind little bird your eyes are like the bark
Of the tree you found and made your mark
I must point out
You’re happy now
Can’t you see?
You are better off without me

Pretty eyed guy, may you fly ❤️

#love #breakup

Smallest Sparks

Meliah Apr 14

Smallest Sparks

How do you awaken a soul?
Through fireworks and bonfires?
Through grand adventures,
Or glass and ruby slippers?
A kiss in the rain, maybe—
Under a lamppost in Paris,
A waltz in a castle ballroom,
Or running through an airport gate
Just before takeoff?
A spinning camera, a swelling score,
A once-in-a-lifetime, cinematic something?

No.
Awakening the soul is simpler—
And yet, endlessly complex.
It happens in the red of grocery store roses at the airport,
In rushed breakfasts and packed lunches,
In kisses in threes,
And the way your hand finds mine
Without needing to look.
It lives in heard concerns,
In said apologies—
(and the changes that follow).
It's laughter breaking through after arguments
In silent morning cuddles
And the endless promise of staying

Setting a soul on fire is a spectacular thing,
But it’s the smallest sparks
That truly light the kindling.
And you, my love,
Have given me every quiet reason
For my heart to burn for you.

My love, my future, my forever. I love you. Our eyes tell it all—just like my parents, we couldn't help, but fall.

Things that Remind Me of You

Meliah Mar 31

Things that Remind Me of You

Sunshine and daffodils—
The heat of the sun beating down on the black hair you gave me,
The flush in my cheeks after too much time outside.
Waves rolling in the pools at Waterworld,
Happy yellow flowers brightening front lawns,
Easter decorations and chocolate eggs on store shelves,
Spring and summer warm

Colored leaves and frozen windshields—
The crisp crunch beneath my feet,
The scent of chocolate chip cookies and flour-dusted countertops.
Christmas songs drifting through grocery aisles,
Board games and hot cocoa by candlelight,
The bitter wind stealing my breath away,
Fall and winter cold

All year round, I find you in everything—
In the parts of me I love when I look in the mirror,
In every tumble that ends in laughter.
In Burger King breakfast sandwiches and Coca-Cola bottles,
In the echoes of road rage—your "creep" and "jerkwad" make me smile
The world, in its quiet ways, reminds me
Of how much I love you.

Happy Birthday Mama ❤️

#birthday #mama

Too Much and Not Enough

Meliah Apr 23

Too Much and Not Enough

How do I stay unobtrusive, yet undiluted?
Acceptable, but still true?
Easy to swallow—
without being overshadowed?
How do I shine
without blinding?

Am I too much?
Too big, too bold,
too hard to hold,
too complex to comprehend?
A puzzle missing pieces—
or a 3D chessboard
on a tilted table?
Am I quantum physics
to the everyman?

I don’t think so.

But I am the stars—
distant, untouchable.
A unicorn—
rare, almost unreal.
A manic pixie dream girl—
Traipsing through reality.
That's what they say,
Ficticios or fantasy
Maybe even fake.

How can I bear my soul?

Unforgotten Embers

Meliah Mar 27

Unforgotten Embers

You say my name like venom, as if you are not the snake coiled around your own throat.
You blame him, as if it wasn’t your hands that traced across my skin.
You blame me, but I played the role you gave me—perfectly.

Oh, to be gold, you say.
Perhaps you thought digging was the way to become worth something,
My mistake—I should have known the grave you dug for me would swallow you instead.

In the wind of your mistakes, I am the ashes of a burnt down home
Carrying the embers of what you made me,
Wishing to set you ablaze

May you find value in your next life because you certainly haven't in this one.

— The End —