Maybe it's not
The world's best idea
To drive down today
And go to a **** beach

Or maybe I'm a dancer
Just for you and me
My pirouette
Might well be poisonous
But I'm sure you'll
Fall for it anyways

I'm an art to your
Lovely bones and parasols
When I strike water
I really strike blood
And my self harm tattletale
Will never be enough

My chemical heart
Is just one nick I'll sew
Into your patchwork of scars
Don't worry about the
Aftercare
I heal wrong no matter the day

The sun shines
Too bright
On fragile grey eyes
California gothic
To the translucent sky
If I pray
The ground will shake
But if I'm prey
It'll shake anyways

Shame disgusts me
Tastes bitter in my mouth
A sour cucumber skin
Follows me like a wraith
Haunting my room with
Clicks and creaks
The storm cloud
Of my frizzy black hair
The imperfections of
My destroyed body
There's nothing I can do
That will not wrench me
With those agonizing
Sexualized stripes of pain
Known as shame
Even if my room
Smells like afternoon sunshine
I will always stink of meat
So let me be
Let me sink my own teeth
Into my own neck
End it all and get away
From this pounding
Tidal wave of petrifying
Intoxicatingly frightening
****** wristed
High on fasting
Torn to pieces
Suicidal
Shame

Cloudy in August
Couldn't be better
Burning dumpsters
Near crowded highways
This inner city squalor
Is my lifelong muse
Leather jackets
And scuffed up boots
Patients give me
Patience sticking
Needles in our veins
Dynomatic symphonies
Pounding us
With ecstasy
Drinking in the
Sweet smoked air
At bus stops I've
Never seen before
I'd never it give it up
That politically incorrect
Temperamental judgement
I'll live forever
For the idiosyncratic
Enigma I call
My not quite home

Will nothing
Be the same
With uncontented
Clouds and
A cat on my lap
Breaking down
The same old way

If I find you
Will you mind
My broken windows
My rotted steps
The rats
In my head
And the bats
In the basement
Will you mind
The smokestacks
And boarded
Up doorways
Will you recognize
That I don't want
For you to leave
I just want
Someone to
Break inside

Breathing out smoke
Into frigid air
Burning scars
Into my skin
Rubbing in the honey
To cement the makes
Staring at the sky
Middle of the night
Tracing constellations
Of words never said
Trying to reach the moon
With a broken pen
These words are meaningless