I am indecisive
Also insecure
Tentative
Too tender
Why?
Not sure
Alive in birthing of a new dawn
Voice of comfort I can no longer depend upon
I tremble in your presence like a motor purring
The night's stillness within evokes stirring
Ripple leaves with a single breath
I contemplate my inevitable death
Am awash in flood of bitter loneliness
Crave a connection but receive no caress
Like wilderness mind is hard to navigate
Like music memory where I go to escape
Like pulsing rivers thoughts rapidly flow
My veins flooded as they roam to and fro
Like wind's whistle heartbeat won't stop
Edges of words poke lungs till they pop
Sing sorrows in a pleasant melody
Grim lyrics harmonize in major key
Your fingertips left invisible prints on skin
Constant reminder that you always win
And though agony is difficult to take
Will bend but refuse to fully break

You're everything that is bad for me
Would resist if I could
Toxicity is easy to see
You make me feel so good

Not immune to exceptional charm
Infected
Love's disease
Knees wobble
Stomach churns
Like it's a stormy sea

Supposed to be secure
Why am I anything but?
Long to sever ties
Too strong to be cut

To and fro memories scamper
Throwing past in my face
Ten thousand pieces of happiness
I am unable to replace

I've seen the darker side of you
Yet also witnessed your best
There's no one else I'd rather cuddle
Or make me feel distressed

Want the heavenly highs
Without proportionate pain
That's just not how it works
Can't have rainbows without rain

Loving me is easier than you think
just like a candlelight dinner with poison in your drink
So, I ask you please never hurt me
if you do I promise you they'll find your body on the floor

When two people fall in love—it's beautiful
but when one cheats on the other
it's time to grab the kitchen knife
run into the room and cut out both their eyes

So, ask yourself a question, should you just take my suggestion
to avoid all future aggression; I hope that you are listening
Or we will drive to the mountains as you're in my trunk pounding
then I stop and start counting all the bullet holes I fire in you

Loving me is easier than it seems
just like the beautiful ocean, drowning as you scream
So, I ask you please never hurt me
cause if you do I promise you they'll find your body on the shore

I am grateful to have a brother like you
And hope you know I am proud of you too
You are growing up
Starting your own family
Sincerely amazed at the mature man I see
Time speeds by in blink of an eye
Has no wings yet still seems to fly
I'm happy you have found joy you were searching for
Deserve every single smile and so much more
Not sure how you ended up so great
In a world that is cruel and full of hate
No one else has a sibling quite like mine
No matter what don't lose that shine!
It always will be an honor to share your last name
Until heart stops I'll love you the same
Thanks for helping me in more ways than one
Appreciation won't ever be done
Lives have only just begun!

Hold my head under a beautiful ocean;
watch me struggle with the glorious view.
Sorrow brings tremendous emotion
with pure devotion I think of you.
Ignite self, ingest opposition,
listen to the sounds as I decay.
Drowning keys, withered strings,
nestled in the spine of each vertebra.
With all my might I take this cup and drink;
I take this flesh and partake in the final feast.
We die from life to finally see the wrong blinded by the light.
Each drop I give in the pool I create must linger forever online,
without this I am nothing.

Every single dark ***** piece of myself
I’ve collected
I have polished and shined
Sharpened them into wicked edges
And with blood red teeth and tongue
I dare you to do your worst

What I mean is

I’m on my knees
but this time it’s exactly where I want to be
As I plead for you to just take gently
But take it all
when you leave
I don’t want there to be any pieces left
to put myself together again