To my friends
who can write
fresh-smelling
bouquets of words
with splendid color,
I offer my envy.
Mine are the blunt, stunted words,
rooted in the cracks
in pavement,
or forcing their way
to light around
overbearing rocks.
Some useful
in their own way,
edible or flavorful,
some with a
pedestrian beauty,
but few that one
would bring home in a bunch
with a box of candy.
More appropriate
in a grimy, young fist
crumpled in love,
destined to be vased
in a water glass
by a doting mother,
or shredded petal by petal
for the sake of soothsaying...
he loves me, he loves me not.

Nine years and still
we cradle our grief
carefully close,
like groceries
in paper bags.

Eventually the milk
will make its way
into the refrigerator;
the canned goods
will find their home
on pantry shelves.

Most things find
their proper place.

Eventually the hummingbirds
will ricochet against scorched air,
their delicate beaks stabbing
like needles into the feeder filled
with red nectar on the back porch.

Eventually our child
will make her way
back to us. Perhaps.

But I’ve heard
that shooting
****** feels
like being
buried under
an avalanche
of cotton *****.

For now it’s another
week, another month,
another trip to Safeway.

We drive home and wonder
why it is always snowing.
Behind a curtain of snow,
brake lights pulse, turning
the color of cotton candy,
dissolving into ghosts.

And with each turn,
the groceries shift
in the seat behind us.
From the spot where
our daughter used to sit,
there is a rustling sound—

a murmur of words
crossed off yet another list,
a language we’ve budgeted
for but cannot afford to hear.

Later that night
she listened to the beating of
  her own heart.
It sounded weird,
she said. Like raindrops
  on her metal roof.

She laid her head on
her yellow pillow. Have
   I always been this sad,
    she wondered.

And her heartbeat
was in tune

Always
  Always
    Always.

Tooth of a dog
Sign of the ram
Forced to walk as I am
Broken
History

Cobblestone

No longer bleeding into gardens
Overflowing Rhododendron
I wish I were
Where the flowers bloom

Eye of the goat
Horn of the bull
Made to walk as I've become
Damaged
Future

Concrete

Finding parking lots and empty streets
Where I can bleed
I wish I were
Where the flowers bloom