I don't want to see you
And for reasons other
than what one expects
It's not that I don't want to be in your presence
It's not that I don't want to hear your voice
Or look into your eyes
It's different
It scares me, you see
I'm scared you'll see
those imperfections I try to hide
Those illogical moments
The lines around my eyes
And my smile
Making me less
I'm scared to be less in your mind
Have the lustre worn down by
crushing realities
I'm old
I feel a weight of world that I can't explain to you
I feel worn out
So thin
Stretched dry and brittle
I'm scared you'll see
And be scared in turn
That one you placed so softly
On such a broken pedestal
Would fall so far from your memory
My fear etches more lines
My heart breaks at my reflection
For reasons I hope you understand
I'll love you forever
But
I don't want to see you