Wandering around in the deepening void.
What am i doing? Do i even have a choice?
Everyone leaves as soon as they come.
I wish i could just appreciate the rising sun.
What would i do if i could make it on my own?
Maybe i'd give more love than i've been shown.
Sometimes i find myself bearing my bones.
But it gets me no closer to feeling at home.
My mind is a trap always filled with noise.
If only i could handle this with a little more poise.
But i'm drowning in this sinister sea.
I can't find myself, where is the key?
With nothing but waves, it's hard to stay afloat.
Luckily my eyes are more or less filled with hope.
But when you're used to having someone by your side,
you find it hard not to get tossed out in the tide.
It seems i've lost my soul in this mess.
Do i even have anything left in my chest?
As my heart slowly withers away, i'm finding that i guess i'm still okay.
But **** do i wish things were going another way.

So why do i think it will ever be different?
They come and go bringing with them false hope.
Or maybe i'm just blind to the fact that i'm just another one to add to their list.
Maybe that's why i find it so hard to fall for their kiss.
I guess that's why my heart is filled with doubt.
If only i could find someone who can help me find my way out.
Out of the cycle.
Out of the meaningless encounters.
Out of feeling worthless.
Even though they say nothing is what it seems.
In these shoes you can only dream.
And i guess i'm still on my own, searching for my missing piece.
As i try not to fall apart at the seams.

As fire crackles emitting
A pleasant aroma ever so
Comfortable
Long ago I remember
The scent of lonely freedom
When transcending the feeling
Was the best high I could
Reach and oh how liberating
Now from day to day I scrape just enough minutes
For a quick scetch,
A few notes on my old piano
Maybe a poem or two
Your words that almost always
Sound like I knew them already
From some strange long ago
People I meet hugs I share
Puzzles I solve
Guidance I give
Presence with their spirit
I am living but
Spirit of adventure
Creativity
Freedom
Bravery
Still make me cry
As if I missed something
I was born to achieve

claret soft twilight ministrations of sunsets calling
sacraments of feelings forth serving both happiness
and sad memories both warmth and cold
needs untended
a dozen met thousands
untold
in the fold of silver and gold
mended into the horizon's testament

Maybe some day we will dance
Holding hands in disbelief
As tears of joy
flow from our eyes
While the field of flowers
will cheer in salute
Maybe our eternity
will come to an end
And our day will come
to begin . . . just maybe

Just maybe I hope
beyond my dreams

I left the dust and tumble weeds
to be incomplete and moved
back east to where I was born

The trees crowded together
There was a change in the weather
I asked mom ,
"Is that rain?"

The people were crowded
With one thought and mind
Everything was designated
to be black or white

We caught catfish from
the Alabama River
Swam in pristine streams
full of soapstone

Then we moved again
Crossed Texas on our way west
Crossed the continental devide
Came to rest in Spokane

I sang God Bless America
while sitting on a fire hydrant
Looking at the purple
mountain's majesty

Then off again back east
Crossed Texas the third time
To Panama City , Florida
where we came to reside

There I learned
to abide by the tide
And that some things
you can't hide

Two and a half years
of bliss
Then we moved
once again

And again and again
and again and again
and again , again
again , again , again . . . .

All my travels
All my travails
I have found home
in the moment within me .

In lonely moments
I stroll the waning memories
when love pure smiled blissfully
deep within a fawning heart

a wistful melody arises untainted
like a steaming enslaved passion
                         breathlessly released
                              unrestrained,..

         ­                          evident
                    as the pressed and dried flowers
          cuddled between life's ardent petaled pages,
                         bookmarks of the heart

                         traces of the wild bouquets
                         that often soothingly caress’d
                         the energizing tingles  
                         inflaming a tantalizing touch

                         the yearning  empty voids
                         feverishly undressed,
                         traced in the hidden sands
                         of unexplored oceans..
                        
                         though time and distance
make the bereft heart grow helplessly fonder,
memories fade softly as the summer breeze befalls,
  
                         as gentle feather’d touch
                         the evanescent sunset afterglow
                         where the earth and sky align
                         the dimming of the day

         loving can heal
the poet’s bleeding words,
loving can mend your soul ―

                         the perennial dawning of an
                         unpromised new day
                         will someday come again

        bequeathed like the bluebird’s mirthful song
to bring forth nascent wild flowers’ blossoming petals
              flourishing in the meadow of my heart


                 *Someone you used to know