The little black book I keep next to my journals sits on a bookshelf I made from recycled wood. A fresh coat of paint may hide a splintered past unknown to me, but that is of zero importance when refurbished trees that died for a purpose hold books containing paper collected from a different tree that is now dignified in service.

One that expands as more hot air is blown, and shrinks when cold shouldered. The little black book holds numbers without faces, but the pocket in the back holds a face that could never be confused as paint by number.
It maps out the girl I've been searching for that never deserved a page in this book of lust, only the pocket in the back that will one day accept my trust.

And the reason this little black book is kept on the recycled bookcase is because the paper is also recycled, the same as the trash that litters the pages.

I spend another Friday night alone that's alright
I plan to make the best of it, I will curl up in my Lazy girl chair
I will not be  stare at the blank walls, no way
I have plans to take the boredom away
I plan to sit in my favorite chair with a snack and be transported to another time and place, It is a Netflix night!

Now that it's over
Now that we're through
I'll look after myself
You look after you
Let's try not to take
With us the mistakes that we made
Now that it's over

Now that it's over
We can both breathe
I'll take mine, you take your half
Of this sigh of relief
As we turn and walk away
And not look back on this day
Now that it's over

Now that it's over
We've had our time
You go your own way
I will go mine
No sign of it left
What together we had
Now that it's over

Now that it's over
Now that it's done
Count us both losers
As our lawyers have won
Justices scale has been tipped
There's no getting over it
Now that it's over

Now that it's over
There'll be no reconcile
The dream we had counted on
Left with our smiles
Clearly it had enough
Packed up and left with our love
Now that it's over

I'm not the only one I'm guessing
Who needs a refresher in this lesson
Not to have it stuck in but out of my head

These thoughts I can't escape
From mornings dawn to daylights late
Can someone please teach me how to forget

The ghosts of memories past haunt me
Not sure of the reason they want me
I just hope they don't keep trying my heart to the bitter end

All I want at this point is some peace
Not the daily reminding of me
In the desperate need of the lesson in how to forget

As I try and tackle time all I find
Is this tangled mess inside of my mind
The thought would be gone by now if left unsaid

But more or less remains the same
As these mind games they never seem to change
I just wish someone could teach me how to forget

A solitary walk in a nature trail can feel so energizing while alone
  A solidary walk through a crowded campus and through a long crowded hall while alone can feel so draining and lonely
In the first instance captivated by the beauty of nature
In the second instance the time seems to drag by while surrounded by anxiety

No weakness tonight -
I tremble and ache
and doubt has colonized my veins...
But loneliness and heartbreak
will not be my bed mates.
I will sleep with dry eyes,
knees far from my chest.
Tonight I will rest.
Tonight I went on a date
with the moon.
I told her about you.
I started to say that
you shine like she does
but before I finished the thought
I knew I was wrong.
I will not write a line
saying you are my moon.
But for you, I burn,
And when I'm with you
I am full.
And when you're gone
the moon is full.
"There is no time for weakness,"
she tells me,
"Be full."