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 Jan 2021
muteD
I
am
at war.
with my heart and my brain.
my soul and my mind.
it’s a free for all battle
right in front of my eyes.
but instead of attacking each other,
they only attack me.

I can feel my heart beating.
Too hard.
Each pump pushes
not only the blood throughout my body
and the air in and out of my lungs
but it also
unleashes doses
of pain.
lethal in high amounts
and unfortunately for me
it feels like the whole bottle has been emptied into my system.
As I close my eyes, I can hear the words
my damaged heart whispers into my ear.

A plea for me
to cut away
all the ties
of this world
and to curl up
with the only one
I know means peace..
Me.

But, my brain is intent on interrupting those thoughts.
It has its own need to manipulate the feelings swirling inside of me.
It has its own agenda,
one where it leaves me standing over a ledge
overlooking my own downfall.
stranded and wondering,

why do I tear myself down?
because my mind tells me to.

the words that wiggle themselves down my eardrums have one and only one goal in mind.
and that is to torture me for the rest of my time.

and it’s working.

a storm is brewing within my head.
Rain and hail beat down on my brain
like they’re the hands
and my brain is the drum.

the sound it makes is enough to bring a man to his knees.

a beautiful masterpiece at the price of a life.

but I guess that’s okay
because that life never mattered anyways.

or so my mind tells me.

who am I to listen to, when both want me dead?
A heart that is tired of beating?
Or mind that is tired of thinking?

(Either way, I’m *******.)
I wrote this based off of a picture and I wish you his could see it .. but I’m in the process of launching my blog and I will have ALL of my recent poetry on there ..
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
Time isn't on our side.
The end of life
won't make it right,
just bring with it eternal night.

We will have to stand up and fight
against the wealthy man's delight;
If we ever hope to make all this world's wrongs
turn out right. If we ever hope to unwrite
the darkness and write a bright light
of hope for a better world than the one we know.

We cannot settle for the pacification
of our corporate owned and ran population.
This needs to be a nation of growth and education.
We need the doctors to run the show
not these asylum patients
posing as politicians,
or the lobbyists and big businessmen.

We need to envision a better mission
than winning by buying and getting
the next big thing, till we are more
consumer machine than human being.

Love and compassion can bring a spring,
as long as we learn how to not be duped
by these unscrupulous profit driven men
and women.
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
It is the strangest tragedy.
America you sicken me
with your lack of creativity,
your intolerance of diversity,
and your myopic mind of mediocrity.

You copy fools who use you up
admire the desire to get more stuff
and in your fevered pursuits find
each acquisition is not enough
for you to satisfy your collector’s state of mind.

While pursuing profits
you scoff at scientists and artists,
not realizing when you depart this
tiresome existence
you will not get a single second back
despite your religious insistence.

There will be no return visits
or heavenly escapades,
no afterlife charades
or heaven's gate parades.

All that stress you felt,
all that time you wasted
trying to get to the next phase,
well, it's a tragedy because
life is not a video game you get to replay,
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
I did not agree with
or act in a way to be complicit
with the actions of indecency committed
by my society.
I just feel there should be some sort of apology,
some sort of acknowledgment of this insanity.

All I can say is, I'm sorry truly and deeply.
I am saddened and maddened by what has happened.
I am sorry not for my inactions or actions in this
but for the mere existence of it,
for that which others will not admit
of the crimes that our forefathers did commit.
Even if we did not witness the horribleness,
we can still feel ill and accept the fact that
there should be a certain level of grief and compassion,
passed among this supposed bastion
of evolved human beings.
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
Imagine if
you took
the breadth
and width
of all existence,
summing it up
in one sentence
and let it go.

Or wrote it down,
syllable by syllable
tasting ever sound,
then sat it on the ground
and burnt it.

What if
you watch it
play out like
movie in the night,
but then decided
you didn’t like it
cause it made you
uncomfortable,
so to spite
that bright display
of brilliance
you put it away
and then
never spoke of it
again.

How come
it is so easy
for me to see
that simple beauty,
but when I
share it in poetry,
you turn your back on me
ignoring my plea
for decency.

What a strange species,
that lets its artistry
disintegrate
into a fury of
mind numbing stupidity.
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
There is a
hell of a distance,
between acceptance
and resistance
against the persistence
of subliminal criminal messages
with ill intent
to dominate
our unsecured
political establishment.

What a crushing chasm
between thinking
and demanding
results without
any reflection or doubt.

In a world with
**** near unlimited
access to
information we can view
and self-educate,
like most modern
auto didactics do,
expanding our minds
beyond the
romantic renaissance
masters of past times,
it is hard for me
to comprehend
intentional stupidity,
despite the fact
I can plainly see
idiots ruling over
my society.
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
I would like to believe
that every moment
that comes after
is an elevation.

That progress is not an ark
but a constant procession
to summits we never knew
existed,
pinnacles that allow us to view
all of reality anew,
to work out the science and review,
then renew
our dedication to
new discoveries
as we climb even higher,
than previous peaks.

That we constantly aspire
to fly and inspire
each incoming
generation to seek
a better understanding
of everything.
 Jan 2021
Graff1980
Do not ask me to write a better future.
I cannot see a light through
the dark tunnels we are
traveling in our fast flesh cars.

I am not depressed as many are,
because I have seen what horrors
have moved us forward thus far.

My nightmares pale in comparison,
to the carnage other people have been
moving, drowning, and living in.

Poverty and hunger, war and terror,
chaos and destruction, over there
where I don’t have to see,
but I watch and read
enough to know it’s real.

I am coasting while others are roasting,
burning in their own personal hells,
convicted and sentenced to a chemical jail,
that they cannot escape because their cell
is the body that they make.

Rage and anxiety pushing our society
to uncertain extremes,
dividing us into the too many teams;

When we would be better served
by acting like Earth’s steward
and learning to listen to
those who have not been heard,
by making kindness the new holiness,
and finding out why they know this
isn’t how it has to be.

Inclusivity doesn’t cost much,
and we gain the universe
by being able to accept and embrace
change.

But my people like to tear down the strange,
prefer the cold dark caves
from which we sprang,
whilst burning and burying
most outliers.

I live in a world of science deniers,
that don’t give a crap about forest fires,
cause our climate has become
numb and dumb to the truth.

So, though, I may smile
while I am talking to you,
I still believe we are totally *******.
 Dec 2020
Graff1980
She promised revolutions
with the slow movement
of her dancing form;

Of new evolutionary
revelations,
that may be scary
testaments
to the new environment
we would exist in.

Artisan of living,
lips giving
sweet passion’s nectar,
she was a specter
of life and death’s
imaginary perfectness.

A thousand point of
poetic reactions to love,
more than enough
to dream eternity
written within
the cold skin
of infinity.

She promised me
a grand reality,
and I wept,
so ready to succumb.
Then she left
and I was struck numb
and dumb.

Now, I wonder
who taught her
how to lie so
beautifully?
 Dec 2020
muteD
do you believe in haunted dreams?
not nightmares
but haunted dreams..
because I do.
and that’s because you haunt mine.
every moment of them.

and you haunt my reality.
every waking second is filled with the need to reminisce.
even when I run your scent just seems to follow.
to escape into any type of solitude would grant my unspoken wish.

so I sleep.

but even then my dreams are tinted with
the feeling of nostalgia.
yet it is not from anything I can recall..
to be missing something I never had at all
is a special kind of hell.
you’ve tainted my dreams
as though you’ve put me under a spell.
and it’s weakened me.
leaving me
screaming upon deaf ears
I wonder if my voice will make it out of this fog
you’ve brought.

everything is clouded with
the abyss of you.

you’ve tinted my dreams
in the color
of you.
drugged me and got me hooked.
now if my dreams aren’t tinted with you,
they’re nothing
but bare black walls.
“ That was insane how you ended it 🤯 from start to finish I was intrigued and steady wanting to read more, although the person was expressing themselves, the vivid imagery you presented through your careful choice and placement of words painted a clear motion picture I could truly get lost in, hella deep and very impressive no bap, you snapped...”
- a response to my poem..
 Dec 2020
Graff1980
Older men and woman
are ordering our children,
the younger generations,
to go off and die for them,

while the climate
is so drastic
that this lifetime
might be the last bit
before we hit
super apocalyptic.

Our leaders didn’t
try to prevent,
slow, or stop it,
cause they got bought
by those who caused it.

So, we need to circumvent
the already entrenched
corruption.

I'm not that great
or the one to originate.  
An innovative 15-year-old girl
beat me to it,
and so did every other
social movement.

This isn't for my amusement.
It's for people re-attunement.

We are reacting to the wrong stimulus.
Stop binging that cringing
news that spews
fear of the other.
Stop submitting to
materialistic distractions
and get down to
mind expanding interactions
and some serious political actions.
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