I open my eyes to glowing stars
I close them to racing cars
Lights, lights in the dark

the feeling cleansed part I like
those tears
though they
hurt
and the things that lead up to  blood red
eyes
tears down to your chin
and those breathless deep sobs
where you can't catch a breath
thrash out
hide your head under pillows
they are the worst kind
they make me cry in and of theirself
which adds to the depth and hurt
of why I am crying
in the first place
but the cleanse when it stops
I swear I see rainbows

If you should see me
Walking by
Hair shorter
Say hello
Say hello

If you should spot me
In a crowded dance
Body thinner, or thicker
Don't wonder,
Don't wonder

If we should fence eyelines
Gait slower,
Don't gut and run
Say hello
Say hello

If you should call me
I'm still here
Adorned in jewels
Ruby sun, sapphire waters
Ask for my emerald green
Emerald green
Ask for me

her orb's silver beams
shall regale the sky's dark realm
a moon new in phase

It is an hour plus
long walk because
I don’t want
to take the bus.

Audiobook in one ear
so, I can hear the traffic
loud and clear
as I march from here
to work.

I greet and compliment
women and men
who walk by
with serious and sullen styles
transforming them into
delightful smiles
that shine through
so other walking strangers
can see them to.

Crosswalk lights
and lunch hour traffic
**** blocks my speedy flight
slowing my time by
ten to fifteen minutes.

Tall and strangely designed buildings
pass by the right and left of me.
I stare at them longingly
imaging all the books
that might be hiding
behind the stone and wooden wall.

I walk pass
lots of foliage
and many trees
but only one
really interest me.
I see the clinging ivy
creeping,
crawling all over
the brown bark covered
body
of that beautiful tree,
as the roots
move scarily
wrapping around themselves
and shaping to form
strange bodies
frozen mid scream
like they are dying.

I pass it cautiously
imagining
the green vine and leaves
consuming me,
pulling me down
into the hungry ground
as I struggle gasping
for my last rasping
breath.

Then I smile
feet moving ever forward
onto a long walk through
the city I love.

I read the signs
and let my mind
wonder in other daydreams,
while tracking the time
it takes me
to reach my workplace.
One bathroom break
and then five to ten
minutes and I arrive
sweating and smiling
time elapsed
one hour and
twenty minutes.

My shelf holds worlds;
  bending under multi-colored,
peeling teeth; paper raked by pupils.
  Cream clenches then spreads,
like a jogger's lung, and I say,
  This is why I normally take it black.
  
Something Steven Spielberg presented
  is strapped to my wall, reminding me of
  my childhood that has left my memory
faster than I hoped it would.
  There's a decaf tin holding mini-presidential tombstones.
I keep a picture of a woman
  I don't even know because
she looks happy and I envy that.

This room is hermetically sealing
  3 AM insomnia and daydreams.

life is an exercise
of humility,
and I am hemorrhaging
my sanity
waking walker
stumbling in futility
knowing my existence
is less than a pittance
knowing that
in the cosmic swirl
of heavenly bodies
constantly moving
I am not even a speck.
My power is limited
as is my comprehension.
I am settled on
shifting sands
and this position
is even more precarious
then I can imagine it to be
because this planet is spinning
while rotating around a star
that is the heart of a
moving galaxy
in a rapidly expanding universe.

The words will not save
or even obey me.
They are not my salvation.
Truly they enslave me,
keep me from escaping
into dark bouts of stupidity.
Ignorance cannot invade me.
The words work their will
becoming my ****** poetry
as they try to elevate me.