do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
everything.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you

And I am a Woman
who so knows herself
my inner power
alive and kicking
more as each
Blessed year
passes by
My light growing
my blood flowing
into the Universe
as it speaks through me
I have strength
that could electrify
a thousand stars
gathered over many years
of my life's battles
and wars
Mine is a quiet sort
Of fortitude
unstoppable with tears
I am my own warrioress
When it comes to my fears
I have my guides
and they know me well
goddesses and angels…
old friends
wielding
magic spells

But nevertheless
I have
A vulnerable side
Underneath the layers
Of protection and pride
an enchanted forest
of moss and green
a sacred space
that only few will see
Inside this inner sanctum
I am as soft as
fine silk
I let down my guard
as emotions flow
like milk

I am an unlikely
desert flower
Who just wants to
open up to you
to be opened
petal by petal
to receive the waters
of your tender care
most vulnerable
with her
stamen exposed
to be cherished
in the cool night air
I am delicate
as tiny spring buds
caught in the
harshest winter
storms
yet who persists
despite the odds
to keep her
cold spots warm

There is a rumor
In the foreign lands.
Some say
(especially in the East)
I have the elixirs
to tame
the most savage
kind of beasts
(Indeed,
Sometimes
as they come for a
sweet, well deserved rest
lay their huge, furry heads
upon my tender breast)

As for you, my Wild One
I think I hold the potion
to the key to your heart
to your beautiful soul….
Yes, poetry in motion
I want to bring it such light
Ignite your embers
To a spark
I could fill you up
So much
You just might not
feel your inner
Dark

But there is something
important to remember
The One who finds my key
Is the one
Who will be crowned
Defender
Of my tender soul
In all its hues
And asymmetry
Oh, Please, my love
Use it wisely
With the most loving
Of discretion
For under the armor
My heart beats raw
Laid bare
To love and passion

Otherwise
My pain will have no end
And I will have to go
Into battle once again

Now
Inside my
sacred cave
I rest
Need to re-charge
For the next
Battle cry
Lift up
Your heart,
To me, my love
Release it
Let it
fly

Amygdala gives you
space. Rage implodes.
Hottest day gives a blast.

Burn, burn, O leaky
night. You **** the moon
with dust. Language
slips.

How will you invite
rains, without nightingale,
who had left for a
quantum revenge?

Visuals haunt. Ash
will fly. An old touch comes
back. Everything looks blue.

I start collecting old coins.