For Mom:
(b. 1925; d.2016)*

She held on to the sunlight
longer than anyone thought.
Palms swayed as she breathed
in all her strength,
all her power
until it all calmed
peacefully,
serenely.
Night cooled
as barren
descends, now
a dark that sings no stars
or sweet songs of life.
Her last breath
carried by crows
brushed across my cheek quietly
as I did not get to her in time.

As my sorrow fingered with my heart,
I saw the hungry abyss descend with her smile,
Still I heard in her whisper,
“do not mourn for me,
like our ancestors before,
I have found the balance
in natural tones;
in the music of stars
and in the songs playing
on Owl’s wings.
Do not mourn for me, my loves
I am alive still in the flow of worlds.”

There is a weight
taller than Denali;
heavier than Big Mountain;
I carry it with me
in my back pack
next to my jeans and dreams
as I follow her tracks,
smiling with her life.

Aztec Warrior/redzone  12.29.16

For all of you who "liked" and or commented on this poem I thank you from the bottom of my heart... your words are a comfort to me and my dad (I showed him the comments)... you have touched us deeply... I hope all of you the best...

And Nagi, you are wonderful in your kindness and a special thanks for shinning a "light" on this poem....

Curt

I don't know what to write about you
You are so mysterious, yet alluring
You invite me in, but show me nothing
Of your soul, or of your mind

And now I look at you and hope
To see something of who you are
'Cause it's picking at me constantly
This lovely person who exists in you

You have so much, yet use none
You prefer to live like a commoner
Yet you're a princess
And while I'm just a servant-boy
I can't help but be enthralled by you

The most beautiful girl in all the land
Not in looks, or anything so mundane
But the beauty that lies within
Of which I have heard of, but never seen

You were my best friend as a child
We spent so much time together
You grew up to follow your family's line
I grew up to follow mine

And yet, despite having known you back then
I feel like you are not the same
You were so playful and so foolish
And now, you're all grown up,
A lovely women who hides herself from the shadows
Of the darkness of men who come
To ask for your hand in marriage,
But only because you're a princess

You remember when we were kids
How we used to hide
Whenever we were called?
How you used to jump on my back,
And I carried you around?
How you jumped on my bed in the mornings
To wake me up before sunrise?
And as teenagers, at sunrise
So we could sit up and watch it together?
And how you'd fall asleep soon after
On my shoulder, on the grass

I have loved you for so long
Not because you're a princess
But because of who you were
And what you showed
But you refuse to show the world
The truth about your soul
Of your mind that thinks such beauty
Of what the world could be
That is why I love you
That is why I care
Know that I will love you,
Even if you're not as beautiful
Even if not as smart
As long as you remain the girl
Who you used to be - so playful,
So kind, and wonderfully so.
Dear Princess, I know that I'm not worthy
Of your love, or even gaze

You don't like me saying "princess"?
Why, friend, is that so?
"I'm not really a princess,
In your head, I am, though.
And though you treat me as one,
And say you'd be a servant in my kingdom,
I am not.
I'm not because princesses don't fall for servant boys
And I … I love you"

There I see stardust,
in your bright eyes,
spinning galaxies of grey,
while some might say they're blue,
though it's not for them to say,
& all I know right now,
is my sun has gone away.

As I'm your Mother Earth,
& you're my dearest Sun,
you're shining on my heart,
& my relief when days are done,
a satisfying feeling,
in the victories we've won.

I sometimes call you poppa,
as I rub your happy tummy,
guess momma done it right,
cuz I cooked you somethin' yummy,

You are the only magic,
my heart has ever known,
cuz I'm doomed without your light,
I cannot do it all alone,
I am weary,
I am tired,
I'm a quickly aging bone,

You taught me toughen up
say it ain't as if you're dying,

you seem like you don't care,
only sometimes when I'm crying,

I know that you do love me,
but I feel I love you more,
I'd walk across a fire,
& swim to distant shore
I know that it's the truest love,
in this I can't ignore,

Your heart is where my home is,
& I couldn't say it truer,
& I love you more tonight,
as my days are getting fewer,

I see you try to help,
you wouldn't just keep tryin'
it's not too much your sold on,
or them theories that you're buyin',

You helped me see the beauty
now please I ask see mine,
I'm not asking for your sympathy,
or to set up for me a shrine,

I only want your hand,
to walk with me awhile,
down the old back roads,
and then on the longest mile,
you are the ONLY one,
who can bring,
my happy smile.

Cherie Nolan © 2017

I know, our Hearts are long miles apart
but still I hope
you'd peep through the window
to my room, where we once shared warm nights.
I know, our minds soared with the new winds
but still I wish
you'd turn and look to see me alone
in the park, where we once walked hand in hand
I know,Our Love Story is to an end
but still I want.... no, need
you to gaze at me once,
smile at me once,
at least,gimme an angry look,
Still, I'll be happy- 'coz
I know I'd see a glimpse of Love
in your eyes - 'coz- you do,
you do love me like hell...
Or at least, the one time I could meet your eyes
is enough for my heart to live
A Lifetime....

When I first saw you I didn't realize that you would create such an impact on me,
but it's been a month now and I still cannot get over just how utterly amazing, graceful, and beautiful you are.

I've tried focusing on something else but whenever I see you you are simply too wonderful to ignore.
Your beauty is something far beyond me.

You have all perfect proportions everywhere and especially on your face.
I honestly cannot understand what you mean when you say that I'm so beautiful,
it confuses me every time,
how can you, a living statue, say that someone else is beautiful?
how are you not astounded by your own beauty and are just narcissistic? maybe your eyes are so beautiful starting from the inside that everything you see is prettier than what most see.

and what's more
I'm not even beautiful enough to be considered beautiful,
I would've decided that you are just telling me I'm beautiful because "that's something that a woman likes to hear",
but how can I convince myself of that when you just keep repeating it and mean it every time?
I mean I have some beauty but I don't even bring it out

You have noticed this,
you have told me you would "make up the **** out of me"
and that I just "have so much potential",
you've told me this last in a really genuine manner
like an makeup/dressing artist that is considering what to recommend for another artist's physical appearance

As I though, it must be your eyes
they can see the world with a different, more gentle lense

But your eyes!
Oh, don't get me started!

I cannot conceive how you can have such color of gray/deep blue eyes and how they were chosen to be on such a perfectly proportioned face,
I would literally take as an explanation that the stars were aligned and that caused it

The first time that you saw me and the first comment that you told me was that you like my eyes, that I had a very profound gaze.
I cannot get over how that was a comment you made on me and on top of it the first,
yet whenever I see your eyes it looks like I'm looking at an artwork and I have to analyze it and to understand it I should just stare at it intensely for a couple of minutes

I can actually say that last thing for your whole face.
Whenever I look at you I first of all see your eyes and how the glasses that you chose are the best ******* glasses you could've chosen for yourself,
but frequently my eyes gaze a little lower and I rest them on your lips.
Oh, these lips...

I've never seen a model that has such ****** lips
You don't have them small nor bulging either,
you have them a little bigger than what would be average and they go so well with the shape of your face,
and their color, their natural color

it's pink like soft skin that was exposed,
you are a man and you do not use lipstick nor chapstick and their natural color with their natural mate makes me crazy.
The color is ****** by itself and the way the lips are placed on that face is also ****** by itself
(*when I say ******, I mean that as a quality, like a compliment, not that they make me feel ****** desire towards you)

To be honest the colors of your eyes, skin and lips are a whole other beauty by themselves,
the way they combine and harmonize in your face is a thing that deserves credit for just existing

Oh, but there's not only this.
When one looks at your face one can see also your hair, which is around it
I'm not good at describing hair so I won't get into it,
but it's brown and has curls and it goes down around your chin
and whenever you have it wet it's double as beautiful and I just cannot believe how you can have such a face and on top of that such hair,
although the face is much better by far, guess that's obvious considering the quantity of elements

I also won't get into describing your body because I'm not good at that,
but you're tall and gorgeous and perfectly well-built, not overdone and literally just perfect,
on top of all that add the elasticity that you have and how much you enjoy moving it and dancing gracefully and again it looks like we have a living statue with every pose that you make.

There was also this one time when I saw you on the distance and I started grinning
but couldn´t stop so I looked at the ground so you wouldn´t notice
but when I was walking near you I looked again at you and you were looking directly at me
I wondered if you´d seen it all, my reaction
you smiled back at me and told me to give you a hug.
How can anyone have such a natural reaction to that which I was embarassedly hiding?

You are very kind and you treat everyone with so much love and care that there's no one that could even say anything against you,
you also like greeting and telling goodbye to everyone
and I'm so thankful to you that I'm no exception.

I do always worry that I won't receive your goodbye, not because you have ill against me but because I'm just a nobody and you shouldn't waste your energy on me (though it's never wasted, I do appreciate every single thing you do for me and also things you do for just yourself or others).
A couple of times you have kissed me
(I'm not sure exactly because I'm not that romantic, I'm just writing this because every bit of you causes an impact in me for some reason.
But they were approximately)
Two times in the forehead and one time on my cheek

When you kissed me on my cheek I felt like you kissed my soul.
That's the best way I can describe it.

I remembered how your lips look and pictured how they'd be on the kiss,
I was also feeling your skin around your lips
And I remembered you're a man (I usually just see you as a person, I'm sorry, I'm used to ungendering people) because I could feel the whisks of your mustache and beard,

I swear just every element that's added to you just makes you so much better,
every time I get conscious of something else that you have I am amazed by it and in awe.

I am thankful to you for everything, and on that kiss I felt like you were kissing my soul because it feels so genuine and the strength applied times the duration of the kiss made me feel the more that you were trying to get your feelings through to me,
not romantic feelings, but feelings of love, the love which you carry within and that you want people to feel inside.