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shia Jan 2019
Basking in blinding white lights
Pencil in hand, papers on the side
Silent, worn gears shifting at five
Eyes droopy, limbs and souls tired
Yet the thirst for knowledge
keeps them very much alive
An ocean of opportunities where
They might drown but they dive
We dive, despite all the risks
The route to our goals still naïve
But for our aspirations, we fight
It is never too early to create
A future for us that’s bright
Our obstinacy a weapon
As we carry the day late at night
Notes in print and in handwriting
We quickly chew what we can bite
So by the time the war arrives
It will be certain, our triumphant vibe
But no matter the glorious recognition
No matter the numbers we are labeled by
As long as we carry on and fulfill
Our dreams, our vows, then we will rise
Rise until we ourselves become the stars
Who will soon emit blinding, white lights
can't think of a title. this was done on a whim. it's been long since i posted a positive one. here's to the people who dedicate their time for their dreams to become a reality. you will get there, i promise.
shia Mar 2017
what i only knew
was that

i was residing
after the edge
of a cliff--
and i was
already
falling
for you


and i finally
conversed the voice
of my heart
bravely
afraid
and yet
fearfully
brave

but then i saw
your eyes
the half moons
were unevident
the sparkle
was nowhere
to be found

i left
before you
and my tears
were not falling
but my heart
fell
and shattered
when i knew
the answer
to my confession

when you looked
blankly
at me

when you didn't
catch up
with me

when i had
the courage
to kiss you
and you didn't
kiss back

*and then
i knew
that
i shouldn't
have fallen
for you
school is over oh yes. but my heart is still crying.
shia Oct 2016
You suddenly hear a screech from a door opening the room and you wipe the tears in panic. Grabbing the powder, you immediately make yourself look good and neat as you continue the mantra, “I’ll be okay.”

Stop saying that.

You’re not gonna be okay.

Yes, there are a hundred positive words that I can choose to say, but no. You will not be okay. I’m so tired of seeing others buy that fabricated smile you’re wearing. I’m so tired of seeing you hiding your feelings when people tease you, and all you do is just laugh yourself off. I’m so tired of seeing you humiliate yourself and make other people happy, yet in the inside you just push the bad thoughts away. I’m so tired of seeing you sacrifice something because you want to be fit in the society’s standards.

And I bet you’re tired, too.

You’re tired of having to hide your sadness because other people will be sad, too. You’re tired of going to school and out feeling like a ghost, transparent and feeling nothing. You’re tired of going home and receiving sermons from your parents even though you haven’t done anything. You’re tired of working so hard because people pressure you to do the best, they want you to exceed other people. You’re tired of being your best and you just want to be normal. You’re tired of having to go to sleep crying and wetting your soft pillow with your endless tears.

Honey, it’s okay to rest.

It’s okay to be sad for a while. It’s okay to have “off” moods and not caring about other people (not in a bad way!). It’s okay to hang out with your best friend once in a while, even when that book report is due the next day. It’s okay to go out alone and treat yourself some pizza or doughnuts. It’s okay to eat that last bag of chips in the pantry. It’s okay to turn on that night light and read a classic novel. It’s okay to shout in a mall or in the rooftop or in public places when you feel like you need to blow.

It’s okay to break down and cry. It’s okay to need someone whenever you feel weak.

For a moment, just stop being so considerate of others. You always care so much about others’ feelings that you didn’t have the time to take care of yourself. You love others so much that you didn’t realize every part of you was fading. You were so selfless that you became the lesser part of yourself. For once, start knowing what you want to do and what really makes you happy.

Please grab that handkerchief and cry all you want. Please lie down and cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

And then, know your priorities and set your goals straight. Do not be what other want you to be. Be what you are and who you are. Get up and be confident. Start being happy all over again. Find your inspiration. And if you feel like giving up again,

remember that the winds brought you down and hurt you…

but you got up and conquered the storm.

You’re not gonna be okay. And that’s what I have experienced so far. But in time, you will heal. In time, you will be the best version of yourself. In time, you will no longer be afraid and scared and belittled of the storm. You will be ahead of it. Time will come, dear, when you will bloom a beautiful flower in this whole garden. Soon, you’re going to smile and be okay.
motivation, i have exams tomorrow huhu! To all the people who feel tired in body and mind, please do read!
shia Feb 2017
WHY CAN'T YOU LOOK AT ME THE WAY I LOOK AT YOU WHY CAN'T I SAY MY LOVE WHEN THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TOLD ME TO WHY CAN'T WE BE CLOSER THAN EVER BEFORE WHY CAN'T I ADORE YOU ALONE WITHOUT FEELING SORE WHY CAN'T I SLEEP PROPERLY AT NIGHT WHY DO YOU KEEP ON CROSSING MY MIND WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THOSE PECULIAR LOOKS WHY AM I GOING THROUGH ALL THESE LOOPS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT MY PRESENTS WHY AM I HOPING WHEN I KNOW WE CAN'T WHY DO OUR EYES ALWAYS MEET WHY DID MY HEART LOSE ITS BEAT WHY CAN'T I CONFESS MY LOVE FOR YOU WHY CAN'T I DO IT WHEN I KNOW ITS TRUE WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TAKING ME FOR GRANTED WHY AM I FEELING BROKEN WHEN WE HAVEN'T EVEN PARTED WHY AM I ALWAYS ADMIRING YOU FROM AFAR WHY CAN'T I JUST ASK THE GENIE IN THE JAR WHY ARE WE MADE PARALLEL TO EACH OTHER WHY ARE WE SO CLOSE YET SO FAR FROM FOREVER WHY CAN'T I FEEL THE WARMTH OF YOUR HANDS WHY DO I WANT TO BE YOUR LAST DANCE WHY AM I OBSERVING THE CURVE OF YOUR LIPS WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY FINGERTIPS WHY DO YOU KEEP SITTING NEXT TO ME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME THINK THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE WHY DO I KEEP ON BELIEVING ON THE "ALMOST"S WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE AN ALIVE GHOST WHY ARE YOU SAYING GOODBYE WHY AM I SAYING GOODBYE WHY AM I LETTING GO WHY DID I LOVE YOU SO WHY AM I FEELING WEAK AND IM IN ALL FOURS WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ME DEAR WHEN I'M NOT EVEN YOURS WHY DID I EVEN THINK OF THE IDEA OF "US" WHY DID THE IRON PROMISE IMMEDIATELY RUST WHY DID I LIKE YOU WHEN I KNEW YOU CAN'T DO IT BACK WHY CAN'T YOU RETURN MY HEART WHAT DID I LACK WHY DO I DENY MY LOVE FOR YOU WHEN I KNOW NOW THAT YOU COULDN'T LOVE ME, TOO
my laptop's keyboard is corrupted so i decide to make use of it
shia Oct 2018
nang tayo'y sumilong at hinintay na tumigil ang ulan
sumilang ang panibagong pagbugso ng nararamdaman
mga pasimpleng sulyap na naging malalim na titigan
pagdikit ng kamay na sa huli din ay naghawakan
ang dating may inarte pa sa pagyayakapan
ngayon ang tanging hiling nalang ay ika'y mahagkan
nasanay na ang mga kamay sa kani-kanilang katawan
kung saan-saang bahagi ang nahahawakan
ano kaya ang dahilan?
tikom ang bibig, ang baso'y natabig
mga saloobin na lumalabas dati'y di naman dinig
ang mga mata na tila dagat, nag-iba ang kislap
ako nama'y mabilis na nalunod sa isang iglap
palaisipan pa rin sa akin kung pareho ba ang ating emosyon
ang tambalan nating bahagi lamang ng isang kuwentong piksyon
mother language. idk what to do, i just thought of one person and i said all these. di ko kasi sigurado kung aasa ba ako o magpapaasa.
shia Feb 2017
his eyes
had changed
my world

*now read from the bottom.
just blah because i feel so tired yet i still have so much to do. i'd write prose after this school year i promise myself
shia Oct 2016
The beeping machine continued its loud beeping
Our heroine sat in the plain, cheap bed
Her eyes were dull yet she was silently weeping
“I don’t think you can,” the doctor had said.

She’s fed up of the crack walls and white, ripped-off paint
Escape from reality she needed
Pity from her visitors is what she does hate
“I’m still alive,” she silently pleaded.

The beeping machine continued its loud beeping
She pressed the big, red button behind her
A handsome young man entered her room, panicking
“You’re alive,” the nurse said in a holler.

She silently spoke, “Why, if I was rather dead,
Would it make things better for you and me?”
“That’s not what I meant, I take my words back,” he sighed.
“I almost died worrying, don’t you see?”

The beeping machine continued its loud beeping
The handsome nurse still sitting beside her
“My shift’s almost over, I’ll be leaving.”
“Thank you, my nurse, for making me feel better.”

And days and months had passed since they knew each other
Days and months had passed, they became close friends
When she silently screams in fear and cries and cowers
He’s there to hold her hand until it ends

The beeping machine continued its loud beeping
“Young man, my ears are tired of the silence.
Sing me a song I’d never get sick of hearing
A melody beautiful and timeless.”

She silently giggled as the kind nurse tries
“Let’s go and hold hands in this crumbling world
Time flies when we look into each other’s eyes
I’ll save you from being alone and hurt.”

The beeping machine continued its loud beeping
She silently asked, “Why did you choose to stay?
Aren’t you tired of me, I speak without speaking
The people who once loved me had now gone away.”

The nurse wiped away her tears and cupped her pale face
“People like you are always worth the wait
I’m so scared of the world losing you, so I stayed
In this world full of suns, I’ll be your shade.”

The beeping machine started rapidly beeping
They were moving her bed after the alarm
As the young man stared at the girl soundly sleeping
He can’t help but ask, “How is she so calm?”

While walking back and forth, he silently listened
“On top of her sickness is another sickness,
Her attacks are frequent, her brain’s badly damaged
At this point, she had already reached her limits.”

The beeping machine was still rapidly beeping
When the nurse opened the door to her room
“Young man, did I look pretty when I was sleeping?
Because I want to sleep forever soon.”
She silently said that while smiling at her nurse
The young man shook his head and held her hand
“You want forever?...**** it, I can’t find the words
But please don’t leave me, do you understand?”

The beeping machine was still rapidly beeping
She cupped the nurse’s face and kissed his forehead
“Young man, for years I have been badly suffering
And now is the time I want it to end.”

“Remember when you sang you’re scared of losing me
And you’ll save me from being alone and hurt?
Let’s hold hands and finally set each other free
I’ll let you fall out of love, but turn off my machine first.”

The nurse held her hand tight and brought his lips to hers
“I’ll let go of you and now I won’t be greedy
Love comes and goes but to myself I curse;
I fell in love, and will always be in love for an infinity.”

The beeping machine that used to beep so loud and clear
Now stopped and so did our heroine’s breathing
The deaf girl that moved her hands to talk silently
for years
Left her lover’s heart silently breaking.

w.c
hi, i did this eons ago i only had the courage to share it now...
shia Jan 2019
puti ng umaga
ningning sa mga mata
may dagat na dinadala.
dilaw na paningin
buwan nakabantay sa'tin
kalaro natin ang dilim.
bughaw ating langit
paglisan mo ang batid
sabay ang wakas at pikit.

w.c
primary colors.
i leave this piece
open for interpretations.
shia May 2017
i used to write so many things related to you. your whole name, your favorite song, the things you always say, the place where i first saw you.

i write them in different places-- on paper, on the back side of my notes, on the wall, on my wrist.

my hand moves involuntarily and i end up writing everything repeatedly. i write even in between classes. it's even frequent when i get home.

they are always written in the same manner the first time i wrote your name. with care, as if your name was the most sacred thing i'd ever encountered.

but now, i don't even do it anymore.

i stopped the rhyming about you. i forgot your middle name. the song that plays in the car seems so familiar, yet it isn't.

everytime i walk down the corridor where we always used to meet,

your voice doesn't seem to stand out anymore.

my papers are neat now. the last pages of my notes are empty. i didn't receive suspension from vandalizing the school's walls this year. my wrist is covered by my watch. i listen to my professors now. i sleep comfortably.

i lost my pen.

then one day, i encounter your name again.

this time, i write it without feeling anything.

i guess your name isn't as sacred now as it was in the past.

i guess your name would only be a foreign word i knew i encountered but i don't remember.

yeah. i forgave and now, i forgot.
this doesn't even make any sense. i guess i just feel a little nostalgic. i want to write a proper, full poem after this. so yeaps. bye!

— The End —