Can you feel you don't belong?
This setting feels so wrong,
flat like cardboard, a surreal past
your mind has left too fast,
your body left behind
with only empty shells to find.
Look at the lavender sky
with flames in its eyes
hear the ghosts and dark lies
They haunt you
They want you
you're gone
moved on.
The past is like a nightmare
that just wont let you go
the sinking sun that seeks you
Why? you don't know.
Can't they feel you don't belong?
but you've always been wrong
but you're already gone.
The mind flown to flee the leaving
the body here still not believing
The lavender sky still deceiving
as it turns to ash
Freedom's all I ask.
I'm not quite here and not quite gone
In this Lavender Limbo I don't belong.

On drifting winds
fly fragile things
the memories gone by
the peaceful dreams of yesterday
on frailest wings they fly
A faded picture, in broken frame
before the blinded eyes
Ever different, never the same
a river that never dries
Memories that drift away
on oceans of nostalgia
the blissful present of yesterday
unappreciated
Simplicity and happiness
Ignorance and love
the confidence of childhood
no thoughts of beyond, above.
All have once missed
that of long ago
Seeking that which is lost
we search
although we know.

Why is this world so pretentious
self-centered, building up your fences
Gotta take the prettiest picture
Photoshop for the best features
Your looks are all you care about
Your fake little words, and perfect pout
Well? are you happy now?
You seem to be, I wonder how?
Your powders and plastic
To me it's just tragic.
If this is the fate of the world
With saggy-pants and barbie-girls
I'd rather be six feet under
What will become of you, I wonder
When your looks fade
You've lost your trade
High school's bound to end
Will those shallow people remain your friend?

All my life from place to place
Rolling stone, no moss and no face
Come and go without a trace
Drifting through this endless space

Must be beautiful, magical
you're free like a bird
No moss as you toss
through the waves of the world

I'll never be, I'll never know
Though I'm free, I've got no home
Rootless, faceless and alone
Wherever I drift, wherever I roam

Having a place, a simple pleasure
I cannot fathom, cannot measure
but what I have, I do treasure
to see, to grow, I'm free, I know.

Sunlight shimmers
off sparkling snow,
shattered to fragments,
a blinding glow.
I squint my eyes
and shield my face
the way I once did
in a faraway place.
Closing my eyes
I am almost there
a memory conjured
by the glacial glare.
A dry Savannah
that was a school field
dry wind blows dust
and my eyes I shield.
The cold brings me back
to where I stand now,
my mind miles away,
I wonder how
I came to this place,
why am I here?
I know the reason
but can't fight back a tear.
I am lonely, homesick,
I want to go back.
To see out the joy
the present always lacks.
I know how it is,
how we all wish away
what we have now
for the thought of yesterday.
Alone or not,
I've no choice but to make do
with the life I've got.
It's not easy,
but I made my choice
I lift  my spirits
Lift my voice.

Imagination
Inspiration
Solemn creation
Dreaming away.

Drift on a dream,
Stitches and seems
hopes and moon beams
in hearts they will stay

Flow from your mind,
the dreams of this kind.
Beauty and art
are the soul of this world.

Echoes and silence
simple things
Are all we need to
sew angle wings.

Wind in the trees
deep ocean breeze
float on a dream,
the slate is now clean.

Angle of mine
Heart is so kind
Willows that weep
My hopes will keep,

Flow from they lungs
sing to the sun
It sets on this tale
my dream sky now pale

Forever we hope
Forever we dream
Image, inspire
of love we don't tire...

Airplanes like comets
drawing cloud-lines in the sky,
rips in reality beyond which other worlds lie.
Worlds bathed in fire, because orange shines through.
If reality really ripped, what would we do?
My mind begins to spiral, up but so low
till all that's left is the nothingness I know,
and suddenly you stand at the edge of the end,
a universe of silence  in which we pretend
to have a purpose, that there is truth, that we are real.
But when you perceive there's nothing, there's nothing to feel.
An accidental planet trying to fill the space
but in this universe of silence, we simply have no place
when I release my fantasies, I lose it all
the ground falls away, and equally I fall.
So I grasp at small things...
like man-made comets with metal wings
ripping reality, passing by
painting purpose on an empty sky.

It came to life in summer
when the wind was blowing warm
when the sultry sun was loving
with the season's wanton charm.

It basked in the glow
of stars big and small
and did not think to worry
for the coming of the fall.

Leaves began dropping
faster every day
but the leaf didn't mind,
they always fell this way.

But colors changed and wind blew
and more began to go
before the leaf knew it,
it was hanging all alone.

In come this season's storms
and though it loved the rain,
the leaf had not expected
not known this kind of pain.

The wind grew colder
the tree shuddered and shook
the stubborn leaf clung to life
ignorant of the toll it took.

Brown and withered
through cruel winter's snow
hung a lonesome leaf
waiting for things to grow.

Come spring and sunny weather,
still it hung there
but as it's brethren budded,
the leaf found it did not care.

With a swish of wind it swept away
to land on warm green ground,
and wondered at the time now passed,
and the peace that it had found.

It beats with the sound of whispering pages,
scrawling pens through passing ages.
With blood of ink that curls and flows,
in words or in symbols that nobody knows.
My paper heart that beats apart word by word in me.

Each beat is a chapter, each word so true,
Once Upon a Time It beat just for you.
It beats out now stories in it's leather case,
a soft, hard cage to keep the pages safe.
A paper heart that bleeds apart, not for eyes to see.

The ink is pain, the ink is love,
the ink is life, the ink is blood.
Hear my words, feel the ink,
judge my words. What do  you think
My paper hart that falls apart, so may it set me free.

Ink for blood, a paper soul,
a leather case, beats to a goal.
To let me live, every day
I need my heart, so leave it this way.

My paper heart right from the start
it's who I am, beats so I can
stay alive, and maybe thrive.

It beats, it bleeds, it falls apart.
My
Perfect
Patchwork
Paper
Heart.

Blank pages are instruments gathering dust in cellars of a palace once made of music.
Laughter fell in saturated droplets dripping like tears down still glass windows as the present blended in to memory.
And the laughter and the tears fed the river whose rapids once flooded the landscape of my mind.
Creatures of imagination, products of paper are crumbling. All the dragons turned to dust.
Does inspiration come at will? Or do you will it, thus it comes?
No, it comes like falling snow, gentle petals of crystalline individuality or
In torrents of the ephemeral rage of ages.

We had no snow this year, cold air pregnant with promise.We lived instead on the verge of expectation
with winter not yet born before it died.
Confused creatures braved the cold air
anticipating spring aeons too soon.
But the flowers didn't know and bloomed in sunny colours weighed down low with frost.
They hang their heads and crumble. Crumple. were they paper anyway?

The summer sky can be just as empty.
The land breathing calm under the sun's cautious care.
Its life juxtaposed to an empty mind, the ocean lying still in stagnant, airless dark.
I don't retreat to fantasy when the vibrance lies around me.
But still the music is gone.

And the hallways stand silent in the rain, their ends frayed and faded, their destinations gone.
And hesitant sounds plucked in the emptiness coax out jarring twangs.
The sound is wrong.
Yet the song itches at the back of my mind with infuriating patience
consistence
And so I play away,, the screeches of lifeless instruments echoing,
till my mind is naught but steel wool tangles
snarled
and rough
and angry.

and lurking in the darkness lie the lies that once were truth the memories I fled from, taste of rotting youth. I am looking for a lifeline, for a road to lead me home, because the current is still flowing, though th water looks so still, and the fear inside is growing filling all it finds until...

This page, it still feels empty.
And this poem has no end, because the destination's broken.
Broken pieces fit together, but they cannot make a whole,
so the rain falls on and dust falls slow ,
and I'm standing in the cellar with my pages in a row,
my pen is dripping laughter, but it's falling to the floor,

The ghost of me is leaving
and I can write no more.

In liquid living
reach for sold illusions
water anyway

Your reflection
borrows your life
has none of its own.

This innocent glass,
so easily shattered-
for looking alone!

A mirror alone
is still and empty
has no purpose.

Emptiness feels
the same as anguish,
fill the void.

Tears fill
a blank page best;
my spring rain.

As winter into summer blends
Each chapter in life comes to an end
The sun glows a mournful goodbye
like an old fire's embers die
The moon prepares to change the tide
and behind her, the stars hide.
Another day, another year
A new hope, a new fear
Anew tear is the same as the old
Winter will still be cold
You never know
You never will
Yet you shall try still
Time is a river
and never will wait
Accept the hand
as dealt by fate
With every new goodbye
I will smile while I cry.

You'd think you'd hear them better,
the echoes in the pages.
The films from pictures reeling,
like birds from faded cages.
They record it wrong,
Somehow,
the sound and feeling gone,
Nothing now.
So rational the reasons,
the logic and the  thought.
No pity for those suffering,
no malice for those who wrought
the horror in those pages
(now lost it's razor edge,
because it's just a faded ghost
from murky water dredged
As old as those who pledged
Never again)

We repeat ourselves,
make the same mistakes
see it in hindsight
even as the next bone breaks.
We distort it, it's unreal
just to hide the skeletons
so that we cannot feel.
If all were as it really is,
would we still teach History
to clueless kids?

I want a reason
to write
to live
to fight
to give

Give me a reason
to dream
to love
to scream
to shove

A reason to feel
deep emotion
A reason for
devotion

Most of all I need a reason to feel alive
to want to go on, to want to thrive
To be anything more than listless and alone
To make this place feel like home.
A reason to try
to live like I'll die.

Melody recalls
films of memory in me
the past is now dreams.

A window open
city in the night breathing
awake as I sleep.