You can not get angry right now. everyone is looking.
exhale
focus on the
exhale
        inhale
**** colored popcorn diesel tobacco
place two feet ten toes on red dirt
swing
no paws
you are not a dog
no one is asking you to sit
spin your phlegm past your uvula
Loogie perpetrates surprised face
this is much more effective than fisticuffs
disgust.
disgust them as much as they are disgusted by you
see
your tastes are mutual

Solid solo
Sounds so slow sloppy sir sang some soapy sonnet
Swaying seven sorry sinners so show sound some surrender
Sweet surrender
Send sold souls so soggy same
strays sleeping
say something sorrow sang sparrow
Soon sorrow
Sleeps
Soon

you stolen pink, arson rose
you angry yellow
you know you the new black?
you inmate slap
color of construction
oh range
convict cage or bruised sunset
you peel or rind
oh range
oh range
(oh aren't you glad I didn't say orange?)
you uniform agent
you coral fire burnt
aren't you glad i didn't say orange?

omens
crow january's
car wreck
silhouette
cigarette flick
wrist wrung
whiplash
alchemy
astrology
so much language
spooled in bed
a crumpled version of yr head
pill bottles halo nightstands
hands turn fist fight
dry wall patched
concussion
repeat
headache
repeat
release
kiss
glass
lip
mirror
mean it
this time

drunk girls giggle ***** giddy
my distaste for liquor leads me
to render
my senses ten-fold
i am so
so aware
of their slippery tongues

my mouth knows silence
how

unsold cars in lemon lots
long for mileage

i will need two good memories
and a bad one
i have a magic disappearing act
a left handed shaman
an ugly critic who sits alone with no electric
i have metaphors for *******

i have lower case egos
and
i don't got time for yours
i have a riot in my mind
a revolution on my fingertips
it exists
in the spaces  i quit/like deadbeat dads
leave fingerprints


misplaced and misguided daughters; let's run so fast the stars call us light

speed, like we don't need amphetamines

We have our own disappearing act
starts in the bones
starves you to marrow

The smaller we get the less you react

so we take up too much space, we elbow, we pose, we leave livingrooms and bedrooms and kitchens and killing time jobs, we leave jaws on floor, we leave sand in mouths, we no map, we motherless, we huge, we funeral black, we native land, we penny talk, we memory, we instinct, we stream, we bleed, we walk

don't follow
leave no trail

this is the third act

we need you back for curtain call

maybe it was the sixteen bars
or the sixteen hours

or the scent of desert flowers

got me drunk

got me dreamin

maybe it was the real ripping at the seams of yr mask

how fast we shed sick skin have thinned

air in valleys consumed

mountains

throbbing in my view

have worn stones

too

many burdens

carried

maybe it was the runaway fame

the shame in her eye

stopping for highway change

desert empty

empty me to be filled

follicles to grow again

gumball heaven

altitude

high

It's alright, It's Ok


It's Ok
To faint in living rooms alone
To wake to dogs panting
To panic in cities you have never slept in.

Eulogy

We have space
So much space
I have all this room to miss you with
I am sick from all the empty
Staring down every corner
I am bedded with grief

Her hand stills me

Build your MeHouse with

earth wound stardust

now

Ghost wrapped genius

Let's commune where they serve watery coffee from skeleton's/ key our knuckles dirt worthy

Build Hope's yellow nest bird

You are sand

gritty in my teeth

We are Cadillac dreams/we orchid and never lily

bruised eye and violet blue

under your Libra shadow I lift moons



we spit truth 4000 miles an hour

Come build your NowHouse with us

Lightning must be the original shock treatment:
Ben Franklin
100 greed worth thunder
Spoke 6 kinds of precipitation
fingered Zeus

carcinogen fogs will cancer you thick
you will dismiss
the salt stain of a visitor
you will pretend
the Tuesday's are not boring
the coffee is not weak
the room smells like chlorine
remember
you are a girl.
she

smiles for money.

seventy seven snowflakes
none of them the same
the hair of the dog who's life you saved
a soccer's shoelace
pieces of the continent
shards of regret
tassles from love's riding jacket
pebbled shirt you wore on  our first date
a hundred wet i'm sorry's
take a pinch of sugar
and the magic medicine goes down
purple
your purple contrast on my skin
how we lived in love
in fall and in spring

we're alive too
too alive to die
and we're in love all the time and my sister says life is a movie
and every movie has a love story
and life is about love

which is why I
will starve my ribs to Adam
will return to dust
will Eve your lips, the darkest hue of moon I've ever met
insomniac hips guide constellations to lucid dreaming
constant smoking and distraction
we gather in sheds and houses

in shreds the ways we forgive and forget
and weigh decisions, the weight of responsibility nagging at my shoulders
ripples of anxiety
curdle in my throat
it is Thursday
i let an infant pull my hair
i rub your sick back

I miss my blood/ my brother
detained
by four walls of injustice
know
one
knows
the
truth

but I
believe you
and now your family
in various states of uncertainty
holds the threads of stories that you weave
stolen money and crimes against humanity
repossessed cars
bottles of liquor
sisters in law
above the law
held up by the law
interrupted
interpreted
and moment we spent was precious,
we laughed and were normal again
the satellites in yr eyes
who knows what they've seen
what they choose to believe
their is such madness in our blood
it runs
thick and rampant
galloping in our genes
and we
live for a living
you alive even when you dying all the time
swollen tears/dynamite boot you/hungover father/ surprise maker of cigarettes and smashed porcelain
born again/seventh day sinner/ come clean out the water/ baptized coffee
working class hands hung the rhythm of the drum in my chest
the tornado of my soul

too big
energy contained not mine anyway
for you i would unlearn so many consonants
i would forget to speak in sentences
for you make moonly gestures
move me to guessing in 14 degrees with ward of the state AWOL passenger seat
spill yr worries sister
we are not alone tonight

you are so much of my blood when i forget what we are made of
we come from the same stardust
however toxic

i pick you up from the armpits
shining in the December of yr adolescence

this morning a 19 yr old boy asked me how to spell achievement

this afternoon i saw exhaustion in a single mother's fingers

I saw peace in the bald, pink cancer patient seeking holistic remedies at Whole Foods

the weary barista delights in his tip jar

and this
this is the tip

of the glacier

that is hope

a shipwrecked shore to call home

you are not from here

sailor

do not anchor

yr worries to reality

we all beat the ocean
in our sleep

I'm so hungry I could eat a *****
I'm sure she could use the money
I wonder if she charges hourly
I'm so slutty I could eat a dollar bill
Money is the root of all evil
All evil sits in the pit of hunger.

There is a hunger
Like a gun to yr head
Metal and cold
Empty yr clip
Personal *******
Egoic standup metaphysical *****
Pseudo spiritual people snakin in my garden
Workin gets harder
When you poet all the time
Clock you don't know what it looks like
A vague memory takes over me
At the corner on 15th and Rockford
I'm unheard and disturbed
No it's not ok
Know insanity like secondhand glove fit/spit atheists outta my mouth
Now you know what god Tastes like
Teeth know what gods about
Molar spell
Glamour silver
Share gardens worth of rent/have bent knees to cold Chicago concrete
Ask god
She's listening
With an open hand
Walk
Yr glistening sidewalk shine you concrete vision of glitter and litter
You performance piece about ennui
Sing
Sinner
Yr callouses
Don't ask how ok I am
We all got issues and I know you want a poem
But all I got is tissues and I didn't mean to make you cry
I jut wanted to remind you of the salt of life
The stuff dreams are made of
Homemade hair cloud spun
Wicked sister come whisper In my ear drum
Hum the chemical hymnals from our childhood
Don't hide your big tooth
Chew and chew and Chew
Purposefully at the great growing complacency

it is worthless to be sad
it is of no importance
so put your face on and smile and pretend
and these fears will not hold you hostage today
go shop consumer
go nails and eyes go sing your surprise downtown
go wide mouth poem lips
go spots and scars and peeling zits
go flawed and angry belly to sleep
wake up aching
wake up again daily
driving
home in the rain

sing noon and lunch out of yr chest
scrape the depression gray in your brain
forget the insane and the warning labels
say to me how sorry i am in shades of yellow
say to me how yellow is just an ocular experience
say to me bible verses via text message
say to me how nothing helps the word prison
say to me how america is rich off prison off people
say
say why you came no victim,
how we question these realities
say you miss me
when i m not around
say how
surgery anaesthia'd me
say how strong you are for not crying
say how

SAY HOW SAY HOW SAY HOW