I look at him, so pathetic
Rotten corpse.
He has no idea what demons fester
In his own heart.
He doesn't see it.
Calls me a devil woman,
"No good" he calls me.
He's in denial of the tarred feathers
He has rolled himself into.
I tried my life on him
But he couldn't see that.
Tells me I'm wrong and should
"Be thankful for what I get"
***** pig.
I bet he wished she looked as good as me
Bent over.
I bet he liked her mouth tight
Like my fists,
The chicken wire around his neck,
The tourniquet
Of fate.
...............
Bleach gets the blood out, he told me.
Best advice he ever gave.

you sweep in a like a gust of leaves
turning my head and commanding my eyes
which are now firmly pinned to your rustling rhythm
a crisp distraction

the type that lingers on...
for days...
nights...
weeks...

unwilted by time
preserved in my mind
a renaissance of the heart and soul
a beautiful, crisp distraction

Sitting in the car,
in the parking lot of the local
doctor's office.
Where the odds of you seeing someone
you know, are a sure thing.
I saw my ex-boyfriend's parents
while in the lobby with my current
boyfriend.
The nurse finally called his name
and I went out to my car
because I am impatient and I
know it;
so I avoid that situation.
Slow ride is on the radio,
I've got a cigarette between my
fingers and I have time to waste.
I've already been to work,
and I plan on hitting the bowl
once we're out in the country.
I am content.

I never wanted to feel helpless.
I never wanted to feel
like I could swim an entire lifetime
and not cross the ocean drowning my ability to save you.
I can’t care for you
in the way that I want to
and I can feel it ******* the oxygen from my blood.
I can feel it tightening my muscles,
dimming my vision.
I feel everything so acutely.
I can hear your bones breaking for me
in between your silences and stutters
I can see your mind bruising for me
in between your scattered thoughts
I am not crazy,
you are not addicted,
we’re just unsure
and insecure
and we have too many band-aids on our hearts
to see that at least they are still whole