I never wanted to feel helpless.
I never wanted to feel
like I could swim an entire lifetime
and not cross the ocean drowning my ability to save you.
I can’t care for you
in the way that I want to
and I can feel it ******* the oxygen from my blood.
I can feel it tightening my muscles,
dimming my vision.
I feel everything so acutely.
I can hear your bones breaking for me
in between your silences and stutters
I can see your mind bruising for me
in between your scattered thoughts
I am not crazy,
you are not addicted,
we’re just unsure
and insecure
and we have too many band-aids on our hearts
to see that at least they are still whole