Back then, whenever I see you,
My stomach flutters and my cheeks turns into a red hue
It was like the butterflies
         are singing and dancing gracefully at the sight of you

But now, the butterflies turn into wasps
That whenever I see you, I am losing my grasp
Eating my whole system
          and instead of love, an excruciating pain

I am full of memories
painted on our ceiling
when we were just two kids
and the rain wasn't hurting anyone

do you remember the smell of smoke
coming from the leaves our mother used to set fire to?
remember the November sunsets
when we'd play stupid games
and none of us was a winner?

remember how we used to sit in front of the fire
playing cards and drinking wine
we thought our lives would be like a smooth sailing on the ocean
yet here we are
miles away from each other
and the music doesn't sound the same
and our cards are missing
still no one is a winner

still
the smell of burning leaves wakes me up at night
still
we are apart
and the wine we drink daily
has no taste
and we keep on playing
even though our lives are like a wrecked ship
in the middle of an ocean that's always dark
we are still lying to ourselves
but deep inside we do know
the wine has changed its colour

and so did our eyes.

much  darker they are
much clumsier our fingers
much number the feelings

and
somewhere,
the leaves are falling
and they are burning
we just can't smell them
                       anymore.

Every second I live,
every breath I breathe,
every moment I exist.
I need You, Lord.

Every face I see,
every voice I hear,
every wounded heart.
Every soul I want to help.
I need You, Lord.

I need You, Lord.
Every minute.
Every hour.
Every day.
Every year.
For my whole life.
I need You, Lord.

I come to You in
my frail humanity.
Shine the Light of Your
face upon me.
For, oh, how I need Thee.