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Do you ever question why you are still alive?

*Stop.
...You'll forget to live.

**
Leigh
Живот не е
ако си болен
но си здрав
I will maybe one day translate this.
Today my father asked if I was tired;
And I guess sadness
can really be mistaken for fatigue
So I said that I'm not
or maybe am
but just a little
And now I think,
yes, father, I am tired
of you, of mother, of him, of her
Of me, of what I can not be
and of what I am
of what I want
But I will never change,
unfortunately,
I will never change;
I will always be tired
Until I can not take it,
until I break down
and cry
And hopefully die
So I guess
sadness can really
be fatigue sometimes
you are
too busy
to live
yet
too idle
to die
I am just sick
and tired
of you
and your rambling
that I do not
care about
do you not
understand
that I do not
need nor
want you
and I know
this is selfish
and I know
it's completely
wrong but
leave me
alone for
some time
I do not
need you
I find myself constantly thinking this kind of things when talking to a person I've known for years. I'm losing interest and maybe myself.
I'd like to think
that my art
is different
And I'd like to think
that my life
is different
But they're not
just like
I am not
and I believe
this will not change
anytime soon
i swear
i didn't do this on purpose;
i did not talk to you on purpose
and i was not kind on purpose;
i didn't give you hope on purpose,
it's just who i am
i did not lose interest in you on purpose
and i did not leave you on purpose;
i didn't let everything go on purpose,
i didn't run away on purpose;
it's only who i am
and i have accepted it
perhaps you should, too,
because everything i did,
i did without a purpose
i never got to try
all those good things
like the taste of coffee in 3am
(because i'm sure it's different than the one in 7)
and waking up well rested;
like losing myself and that meaning something nice
and being proud of myself;
like being good at my favourite activities
and screaming at the top of my lungs
on the roof of an abandoned building;
like drawing silly things
and singing along to lyrics that don't make any sense;
like being strong enough
and saving myself
i never got to be fine,
so i don't know how to keep going
Take my hand and let's just walk together,
Let's just roam the woods,
*And pretend we know what we are searching for
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