What is this feeling?
What is this light buzzing that engulfs me?

Creeping from under all the noise,
always living in the shadows of
our daily life,
lies our most sincere fear.

You may be good, determined, proud.
You may be bad, remorseful, desperate.
But we're all the same when we fall victims
Victims of a disastrous truth.

Day, night; hot, cold. It doesn't matter
when or how.
Once a person is alone, completely alone,
does the Silent Assassin act.
You can't avoid its both malignant and
benign presence.

What we fear the most is silence.
Absolute and utter silence.
The kind of silence you can never come back
from.

Can't sleep, it's always the same.
I get to my room, exhausted, lie in my bed,
Close my eyes and the Sleepless Fairy
decides to take the reins of the situation.

Maybe if I go to my computer and surf for a while
I could doze off. Maybe I'll go out and have a cigarette
to calm the Fairy. No, this insomnia is different. I can't fix it
with simple solutions.

This wakefulness is not due to the anxiety of an exam,
or the diffidence I have for that one girl I can't get out
of my head. This insomnia is that small sparkle of
uncertainty that has abounded my mind for a long time.
That feeling of vagueness, of yearning. Yearning of what?
I don't know.

It is simply that feeling that I'm missing something,
whatever it is. I go around the whole day in my mind,
what am I missing? What am I forgetting?

During the day I'm acquiescent, lucid, happy.
But come night... time to go to bed.
Time to perform the daily check for recent events.
Catalog the occurrences with different feelings,
accommodated to their respective memories.

But there's something missing.

I curse the Fairy and its 1001 tricks that keep me
awake and conscious about that which is in the
subconscious.

Will the day come when the Fairy shows up no more?

As long as that feeling is housed in me, like a parasite
clogged on its new victim, the Fairy will keep visiting.

Your dagger pierced through my skin

I feel it emptying itself, the poison surrounds

Beneath the encasing of my skin

Lies a tortuous ordeal.

Never finding myself, never finding me

Just a mannequin, an empty shell

The dagger releases a seal

A past, unknown.

Keep looking for words, they're in there (somewhere)

Though I look good, unaware, happy

Fear it, cuz its only a layer

Just... a layer.

Beneath this skin, beneath these flesh and bones

About 6 feet under,

You might find it

Find me

The poisonous dagger, has done nothing to me

**** me? No

Released a seal

Released the truth.

I am me.

I've always been me.