I am the entourage
Of a fantastic mirage

I am the agent
Of my mind's figment

I am a believer
Of mythical creatures

I am a builder
Of splendid architecture

I am a drunkard
Tripping on futures so absurd

I plan construction
Of my own destruction

I am the feeder
To dreams of grandeur

I am a magician
Of wild, potent concoctions

I am a tycoon
Of emotional typhoons

I am an adept
Skilled in exploiting concepts

I am a parasite
Brandishing fangs that bite

I play host
To a monstrous, hideous ghost

I am an addict
Of thoughts derelict

I am the dreamer
Incapable of anything lesser

I am a diver
Sinking deeper and deeper

I am an insatiable thief
Claiming trophies without grief

I am an emotional hermit
Hoarding my all in a bottomless pit

I am a weaver
Fabricating tales that meander

I am a Neanderthal
Adopting behaviours and habits that appall

I am an ape
Mending wounds that gape

I am but me
I'm blind, fighting to see

I am rhymesmith
I lie through my teeth
Getting hard to breathe
Heart to words, I seethe...

if you don't believe in anything
what do you do,
when the world is crumbling at your feet
and you have no one to turn to?
when you are scared, alone at night
missing the person who stood by your side,
when the last of your innocence has finally gone,
what do you believe in when everything goes wrong?

One.
My first kiss was a country boy.
His dorm smelled like coconut and summer but
three days later, he told me
he didn't want a relationship.
Two days after that,
he stopped talking to me.
He used me.

Two.
I kissed a boy
whose intentions were never
what I thought they were.
He had hands that wandered
and lips that didn't quite fit against mine.
That was our first and last date.

Three
I thought I loved him.
Young and in love, I let him
touch my heart and my body
and I thought we were forever.
But his hands were too big for mine
and he left me, like all the rest.
But I don't miss him.

Four.
Late night Snapchats that led to drunken kisses and roaming fingers. And regret.
I still think about it.

Five.
I was 19,
and he was gentle and slow.
He held my face as if I was porcelain,
beautiful and fragile.
After, he held me close to his chest
and I could hear his heart
beating with mine.
*Perfect fit.