The last time I was in love, I wasn't.
But ****, did it feel like I was.
I felt butterflies in my stomach
Had my insides in a round of applause.
The last time I was in love, I wasn't.
But ****, did I feel a rush
But that wasn't love, it was whiplash
I was shattered and I was crushed.
The last time I was in love, I wasn't.
But **** did it feel like it.
But it wasn't love, for when you're in love
It shouldn't feel like ****.
The next time I'm in love, I will be.
I'll be on top of the universe.
'Cause next time I'm in love
She'll be my guardian angel, not Lucifer.

You got me on the top of the world
And I don't ever want to come down
I got a smile painted on my face
You got me looking like a circus clown

I can't explain it in words
Not ones that can be spoken
You got me under a spell
And I know it can't be broken

But God, I'm begging,
Please don't ever break it
'Cause I'm thinking about losing you
And I know I couldn't take it

Anxiety is when the world around you gyrates
Depression is when it stands still
Wanting so badly to reach for the stars
Knowing you never will

Depression is more than a feeling
It's a ship sinking in the ocean of you
Always being told that you're worth it
But knowing it isn't true.

Depression is "it's okay"
Anxiety is "I'm fine"
Depression is a wound that just doesn't heal with time

And mixing the two together
Is a cocktail of explosives
Depression is absolute stillness
While anxiety is motion

How can the world be spinning
When my world is standing still
I've never understood it
Perhaps I never will.

There's one single thought that has plagued me every night since summer began to end
Every night since I felt the ghost of freshman year
Breathing down my neck
And promising that nothing will change this year
This thought haunts me like a vengeful spirit
Trying to break me down even though it knows
I'm still broken from last year
And I can't be put back together
The one thing that constantly beats me up
Is knowing that school is approaching and I
Can't ever stop it
Because there is no way out
Even when it becomes too much and I forget how to breathe
Anxiety that chokes me until I can't even ask for help or beg for mercy
And maybe, just maybe they'll let me out
And I can go home and pretend that I'm not alive
But it's only for a day
Because when that's over
The
      Bell
            Tolls    
                   Again

Our arms around each other we sway to a song
We belt out all the lyrics and get half of them wrong
It’s time to part ways but we don’t want to let go
We’re dragging our feet to make the moments pass slow

As we stand in this circle I know this house has been blessed
Every moment I spent with you was better than the best
My wish is that we’d be together for 100 years
It would be fine by me if we would never leave here

Chorus:
I’ll remember every one of you fondly forever
‘Cause you changed my life and you changed it for the better.
We’re listening to music and we’re dancing like lunatics
Who said perfect circles do not exist

The same 3 games of cards somehow never got old
Though we played them in the heat and in the rain and the cold
This really feels like something that was meant to be
You’ll never fully understand what you meant to me

That place was our castle, forever mine and yours
Signed with memories of song sessions, parties, and rap wars
But the one thing that will stick with me until the end of time
Is my arms around your shoulders and your arms around mine

CHORUS

You hugged me and you smiled at me
You told me that you’d write to me
You said we’d be friends forever and I know you never lied to me
Didn’t want to go but we knew that we must
God I’d give anything to get back on that **Precious Cargo bus

I was just a kid when it began
I didn't realize something ignited
And now there's a fire that burns our regrets
And I know we'll always be united

So many songs sing of love
Between a girl and her significant other
But no song can describe the way that it feels
To smile on your sisters and brothers

Don't you dare cry I can't stand to see you crying
We're a family, a flame
And this flame isn't dying
We've parted ways but this isn't the end
This is just "see you later" not "goodbye," my friend

So put your arms around me
We'll sway like waves on the water
We'll add fuel to this fire
Feel the heat as the embers burn hotter

I was just a kid when it began
I supposed I'm still a child today
But I'm growing and learning and slowly maturing
And I'm glad I met you along the way