They told me I was selfish
Cause I had a bullet pressed to my head
With my name on it
They told me I was selfish
Cause I had a knife pressed against my thigh
They told me I was selfish
Cause my legs were bleeding
And I was screaming
They told my I was selfish
Cause my heart wouldn't stop hurting
They told me I was selfish
Cause my bones were aching
They told me I was selfish
Cause my note said I was leaving
They told me I was selfish
Cause they begged me to stay
They told me I was selfish
Cause I needed to go away
They told me I was selfish

As I grow older, many will envy my good memory
If I could give my memories away I would
But I'm drinking too much to try to release them
Instead, I'm crouched over the toilet and they've made a home in my throat
And all that is coming up is ***** and tears

Someone said when faced with a decision
always take the hardest one
because that is the one that will help you grow
But why would I pick the stubborn, drug addict boy
When I could go with the boy who is smart and truly cares about me?
Why would I go out with these girls who don't   care,
When I could be at home watching tv with my mother?
I could tell you said it, but it wouldn't be relevant
because yes, I'm growing, but into a person I despise.

You've taught me alot, but the most important thing you had to teach me
was that when i am drowning
no one is going to be there to save me
to pull me to surface air
I must save myself
my lungs will eventually fill with the water which is keeping me under
and while my lungs fill,
I'll drown in my own damp misery
as you sit and you watch
with a grin on your face
you do not reach a  hand out
you sit still, you take in my every ****, squirm, gasp for air
as i feel my body Giving out
i'll build the strength
which you have given me
by sitting, watching me drown
I'll surface my own body
I'll breath my own air
For I have learned to live without you dear