why.
those three letters come to mind, every time.
why?
the question I seem to ask too much.
although, other questions are valid too.
is there really a divine reason?
when will I ever know?
can't they see?
don't they feel what I feel?
til death do us part, but what kind of death?
death of the spirit, the heart, trust...?
does departing with my body grant that the pain is all gone?
why?

Familiar feeling.
Once so keen. Lost it over time.
Rebuilt myself. Allowed you in.
5 years passed and I could be me.
3 years passed with you.I was me.
Promises of not repeating orbiting me to the familiar feeling.
Built that trust so far, only to be shattered.
A ring and a baby change this circumstance. Not what it was before.
This time I have to be strong. For me. My body. My baby.
I still love you. But why would you do this?
Me, it's me. You, it's you. Why?
Total of 9 years now, with this familiar feeling.
Will I ever say goodbye?

Who I was
When my heart was broken
Has sent backup
I have gone through hell
But now I'm back
Only with scars to show

Lately,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind
My vivid dreams wake me up in a sweat
My day dreams flash my un-lived life
I’m making up scenarios that further my debt

I just need to sleep it off, sleep it off
Tomorrow is a better day
The sun will rise once I sleep it off

Depression is saying “tomorrow I’ll do that” every tomorrow
Depression is laying in bed starving but not caring enough to get up
Depression is pushing away the people who are trying to show their love
Depression is your room looking like a tornado went through it
Depression is

red flags dancing in the storm you caused
mentioning  high tide or  danger

"take cover, find  safety"
is what they were screaming
I decided to  stick  around to fight off Mother Nature
but there's no fighting Mother Nature

your  idea  was made up
lies already formed behind the curtains of your shower
when I was dreaming of better things

An “accidental” download
accompanied with fast words and pictures
Frantic, but for what?
The truth or a black lie?
It is no business of mine what you do in your spare time
It’s only the whole family you will break
My father will slip away
Family events will decay
Along with the love that we all once adored.
Oh mother dear,
Why is it that what you fear
Is what you befriend to escape what is non existent
Now this secret I must keep
That will stew inside me deep
Not willing to ruin everyone else’s day