Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
John H Dillinger Dec 2019
Living The Dream, Or, An Existential Christmas Carol


My Longing stretched through realities,
towards them,
as I was creating the walls around me,
discovering, yet conjuring, what lies round each corner.
Shadows flicker across my face,
and it is fear holding out the light
that blinds me,
reverberating through silence,
deafening,
carving characters of insecurities
into dancing silhouettes.

I had that dream again where the window was wiped clean of it's view.
Dreaming is freedom
as defined by our own limits.

Taking strides, our eyes meet in a smile.
Him, pulling my hair, our bodies rolling, falling into each others spaces,
searching out the limits.
And I was anticipated for                                            
like in all my dreams.
Now, he's standing in my way, holding eternity
and I'm just a different colour,
the wrong colour.
He reaches out to me, to offer me this moment,
the only one in which anything can be done
And I...

Dream
This poem is a meditation of 5 important questions:
What are your dreams?
What are you afraid of?
What's stopping you?
What is Love?
And what are you going to do about it?
John H Dillinger Nov 2019
There's nothing left of me here,
only the ghosts appear,
they've barricaded themselves
in the abandoned buildings,
I see them peeking out.

The cities voices, familiar, shout,
even as they whisper.
There's nothing left of me here
or my ears would blister,
like they used to.

It used to be: find today's food for all,
then dinner from the bins
and tonight squatting the old school.
Being homeless is a full time job,
ruled by desperation and The Law of Sod.

From the street, the city stands naked,
free of it's dazzling attire.
Underneath all the buildings,
the foundations of history,
is the same boggy mire

                                         (from which it sprang)

I wrote poems on these pavements,
some, simply, political statements, in colour,
but there's nothing left of me here,
the slabs have all faded, once again grey,
and this is all I have to say:

The city didn't notice that I've been missing,
it was lost in it's lovers arms, kissing,
a Time Immemorial embrace;
oranges & lemons
and the finest of lace,

a commercial covenant
with The Man With No Face.
The entire space was built
on the idea of exploitation.
There's nothing left of me here,

I left along the road of alienation.
A bankers brogues tread on beggars hands;
actually, this here is private land,
property of The City of London.
Well, I'm ******* gone, son.

There's nothing left of me here,
I'm done.
trying to sketch out the last years of my life in a series of poems. this one is about coming back to London, home of 24 years, and, gradually, letting go of all the pain that only leaving allowed me to do. The last lines, 'well, i'm ******* gone, son...' this is a londoners response, meant to show that, however far you go, something always remains, like the ghosts in the windows...
side note: the city of london (not part of the UK and answerable only to the queen, with a differnt voting system and tax system, giving nothing to public coffers) exists because it came from Time Immemorial. This means before written records of Britain's modern civilisation. Basically, 'we've always been here, mate, so.. we were here first.' It's a shady part of the UK not in many of the guide books. The Mayor of The City of London (not to be confused with The Mayor of London) is the only other public figure, aside from the queen, who is permitted a golden carriage for official ceremonies. ******.
John H Dillinger Nov 2019
I accidentally skipped 2 pages -
I have to go back,
a clean mess,
unabided,
I write something
and try to hide it.

Is it better if I rhyme it?

Well, I can't help myself,
it's like spotting patterns
in the stars,
once you've seen it,
there they are,
the beauty spots and scars.

A cliffside, strewn with wrecked cars.

But up it climbs,
smashing rhymes,
rattling the bars
of my cage
as I step out on to the stage
of the blank page

Avoiding the trap doors

It's filled with an opportunity
though, sometimes,
a sense of dread.
It can be a clear window,
dreaming futures, summoning
the dead

Bars become lines on the page instead

I use what imprisons me
to set me free;
locked in a lexicon,
I can breathe,
the blank page
is a forest of falling leaves

Where I can hear the echos of my screams.

So don't waste it.
John H Dillinger Nov 2019
By the light of a candle
   & the setting Sun,
just before the night's begun,

I write poem #5
of the day,
just to have a bit more fun.
most prolific day for some time. winter writing streak on the way.
John H Dillinger Nov 2019
I don't have a country,
they have me,
               we're stuck.

At least my flag waving hand
               is free,
what luck.
John H Dillinger Nov 2019
We Are In It Together


You change the land
you change the sky
a mile down
a mile high

The message is transmitted
through the trees,
it whispers
on the blowing breeze.

They speak together
of a growing brute,
on the wind
and from root to root,

of The Man
whom eats the fruit
and obsesses
over shiny loot.

Only to one another
their language speaks,
they've forgot the sound
of nature's beat.

But oh, they love
banging their drums
So, the clouds distort
the setting Sun.

The Air brings forth
a deadly storm,
Heaven's bells,
as if to warn -

The Earth, too,
tries a trick,
making all
the ecosystems sick,

making whole species
completely disappear
but The Man shows
little sign of fear

And so, I say,
I have to learn
To speak to Sunshine
and the wise old Fern.

I hear the conspiracy
of our demise
and on my knees
I start to cry.
Next page