Battling myself not to break something.
Insides twisted from head to toe.
Desperate for the anger not to show.
Taking all my will.
Flooding out the gates.
Almost nothing left and still.
Turmoil rising within.
What do I do?
When all I want is to give in.
When ****** isn't enough.
Genocide couldn't keep up.
Anger the deepest black couldnt colour.
If only all my personalities would materialize.
Standing by to ease the pain and shoulder.
The things I cannot.

I wanna give the universe something tough to digest.
I see it with a ******* up look on its face.
Puzzle the universe
Be like me.

I wanna create a gazillion variants of myself.
Each one degree further removed from the last.
Get in line now
Be more like me.

I wanna dissolve the unsurety left over from a thousand
Races that have died out.
Know yourself
Fight the knowledge.

I want to invade the space left by your mind when it rushed
Out to find itself.
Mommy left you
Never forget it.

I want to condition the part of you that takes care of plants
But forgets to turn the light off.
Darkness is a blessing
Only if you let it.

I want to take aim at the eternal you and forever change it.
You are cascading now.
How does it feel
You restless thumb sucker.

You want me to change you, feed you, and take you outside.
I am your new mom.
Momma's gonna buy you
A mocking bird.

You want harassment, a harness, an igloo, and idioms.
I am the fire that will melt them all.
Listen to me
Your time has come.

Shadows circle their captors without ever finding an exit. There isn't really a way out, but it's never stopped me from searching. I live under puddles of rainwater and in window reflections. Everything's backwards, so it makes more sense. Here time is slowed down and no one ever leaves. You never have to feel too much and not enough all at once. Your train of thought can be traced and you can always find your way back to the place you started. I don't know where I belong, if anywhere at all, but I have found a temporary home where I can rest my bones. I won't come up for air until I have to.

A heart beats thinly
under the winter's cold skin
it's sunken pulse fades..

Wherever I walk
always there is an absence
walking beside me..