As the days wore on,
and the pain set in,
she became bitter and nasty.

Heart pounding,
   Through the night
She knows the darkness well
     Been blinded by the light
And dragged through hell

Soul crushing,
   Through the days
She knows the pain never ends
     Been sliced open, fogged and dazed
And the voices in her head,
Have become her only friends

Head throbbing
   Through the dreams
She knows the sound of silence not
     Been left wounded, no one to hear her screams
And tortured by the presence of one single thought

Death knocking
   Through the silence
She knows he'll keep waiting, just like before
     Been failing at keeping up her defence
And this time, she simply opens the **door

I keep replaying it in my head
Like a broken record stuck on repeat,
the expression you had
when you looked at me
and tears started streaming down your face.

My heart twisted and cringed
as every tear fell
You pushed me away when I tried to
console you
"Get away from me."
I was horrified with myself.
The complete utter silence dispersed through the room  
when you left me alone.

You did that on purpose
I think
to let me torture myself
with every thought that consumed me
every little drop of hatred,
running through my veins.
Like poison seeping through my blood.
Every second becoming more fatal
every moment deteriorating my insides.

Then the sky started crying
each rain drop simotaneous
with each tear rolling down my cheek.
I despise myself for hurting you.
I'm sorry.